I had a sternomoty - cut through the breastbone (sternum) to open the chest cavity and access the heart and aorta.
Later my sternum was wired closed and the incision stitched (sealed without stitches).
Tips here:
* You can't use your arms too much - doing so may open the sternum and you want that to heal fast.
* So getting out of bed means crossing your arms in a hug (hug yourself) and keep that sternum closed. And then while lying on one side, swing your legs down off the bed. Then sit up. All in one swing. The hospital should show you how to do this.
Practice this before surgery. Online videos will show you but you must practice.
* You must sleep on your back. And I thought "yeah yeah I can do that" but... no.
It took me around 6 weeks to be comfortable lying/sleeping on my back and no other position. (and now I can't do much else 🙂 ) As much as you want to take a break and sleep on your side, you must not. That sternum has to fuse back together - flat and perfect.
* You can't raise your arms above your shoulders. Always keep your elbows tucked in to your sides. No stretching out to grab things. No raising any weight at all.
* No driving until the surgeon says you can. This is a huge deal since we rely on transport and think we can do everything with driving. Even the best car steering will not spare your sternum from flexing and re-breaking. Don't risk it. You want the perfect sternum again. Listen to your surgeon and add some more weeks to try things if you think you can. Drive in 6 weeks? If you don't need to then don't. You be the judge with good medical advice.
* Try not to bend down or do any twisting. So EVERYTHING in your body will hurt whenever you do anything. Sit down. Rest. Move your hips and not your arms.
* Shower - oh dear. Get that little chair or whatever you can safely sit on in the shower. Get one of those non-slip mats to stand on. You do not want to slip. Practice now how you can get in and out of the shower with only minimally using your arms. Get used to it.
* Get another little chair to sit on so you can put on shoes and actually anything you will need to bend over for. Forget about anything that you used to do around your space that needs you to squat or bend down for. Do it later. (All my potted plants perished - my needs have priority. FOR STERNUM!).
* If you thought about home delivery for any meals or products - think again. Make sure you can pick them up without much using your arms and go from there. Leave in a safe place - FOR YOU.
* Organise some fun. Look, you are going to get bored - really bored. Get the TV on, and the tablet, and a few books. People may visit and bring puzzle books and watercolors - if you like it great. Maybe tell them in advance that you are "not a puzzle person".
* Sleep is good, but you want to be active. Get that heart strong and back to its best. Sleep your normal amount and then get into a chair and recover. Otherwise you won't be able to sleep if you have too much. (not medical advice, here - just do you with your heart first).
* Get cardiac rehab if you can. It helped me.
* Learn to walk properly. Yes, we all know how to walk. But you won't be running so get walking. Just leave your home and walk for a half hour each day. If you cannot then don't. No stress though. You are not "building" anything here. Just getting your system/s moving. Everything is a system, and your body a system of systems. Just get the grease on the wheels and everything will run smoothly.
* Eat well. Eat at home, have someone cook or have cooked meals delivered. You may not feel like cooking - fine. But when you do, start small. Sounds like basic stuff, but you might have to re-learn how to minimally take care of yourself. I burnt the water on my first try.
* Connect with people - have a way of connecting. Keep people in the loop and tell them how you are doing. Don't complain too much, but when someone offers to visit just go with it. Ask them for help. I tend to go on about things (no, really? I can hear you thinking right now) so just stop myself. For a while I told people I had "a heart attack - sort of". So I make it brief. If you met people in the hospital (and why not?) then make friends and call them later - a heart surgery shared is a heart surgery... ummm?
* Laundry - almost forgot this one. You might not be able to do it. You might be in pyjamas for weeks, so sort that out. Have many sets of clean simple clothes that are so easy to put on. Leave your laundry for a while and get yourself back together with one thing at a time. When you feel up to it, then wash clothes. Some. Keep yourself clean and your laundry should be minimal.
* Clothing - forget t-shirts or any "over the head" clothes. You can't raise your arms right? Wear button shirts or tie-closed items. Shorts or trousers - very hard to get legs into while standing so little chair time or sit on the bed or chair and slip them up. Hey, not elegant. But you have clothes on! But then...
* Bathroom (going to...) - a challenge. How to "take care of down there" when you can't use your arms? You can use your arms. But slowly - find your limits and if it is still too much and you feel yourself pulling at your chest then stop. Perhaps arrange for a home service to assist you. Maybe take care of number two's and jump in the shower (and by that I mean slowly navigate your way into the shower). Get some help. Ask nicely.
* If your home needs any kind of maintenance/repair/clean get it done before your surgery. That tricky toilet is going to be so much trouble when you are standing on one leg trying to finish business and not using your arms! Get the shower clean, the amenities in working order.
* Before surgery make notes of your daily life and check off that list to see if you can do it alone/with help/never. Address these issues, try them yourself with no hand/one hand/two hands and practice.
* Have backup plans for everything. Can't reach the top shelf - figure it out now. Can't vacuum under the bed - think: is it a priority? Can't sit in or get out of that chair - change it out for one you can. EVERYTHING IS DO-ABLE if you think ahead.

YOUR HEART AND SURGERY IS YOUR FIRST PRIORITY
YOUR RECOVERY IS IMPORTANT
HEAL HAPPY /HEAL FAST