Hi Joygirl 1. Thank you for responding. My husband was diagnosed with dementia about 4 yrs. ago and stayed about the same until a year ago when he fell and broke 2 ribs, so after being in the hospital for over a week, he had to go to rehab and ended up there for 3 months because of other issues. After rehab his dementia went downhill quickly. At times he has a difficult time walking, so now I'm faced with that. He will be starting PT at home in the next week, as he was just released from another rehab this week. He gets a terrible attitude in the evenings, which is very difficult for me to deal with, as I feel he does not appreciate anything I do or have done for him. I know this is the dementia, but still hurts when a person tries so much to help. I will get over that and I'm working on it. I cannot go to caregivers meetings, because I have to be with him. I do take him to adult daycare 2 days a week, which helps, because it gives me time away from him and time to grocery shop and do other personal things. Thank goodness for daycare. I wish you well with the care you are giving your husband. I know God will not give us more than we can handle, but sometimes I question him. I can only pray that each day can be better for my husband and me. Take care and my prayers will also be for you and your husband
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Hello @alois714. As I read your post I realized you highlight three important points for all caregivers to remember.

First, from my years working in research for the national Alzheimer's Association I know it is highly common, and some say expected, that any medical intervention with a dementia patient causes a noticeable stepdown in their abilities.

Second, again from my work with Alzheimer's' Association, 'sundowning' or the loss abilities and cognition late in the day is also very common and another unfortunate part of the disease. In my MIL's case we had to greatly adjust her day's schedule to avoid as much stimulation in the late afternoons and evenings as we could to ease the extra anxiety and agitation from the effects of this.

Third, and this is simply from my 14 years as the primary caregiver for my wife. I will say, as I have said before here, some days caregivers ARE given more than any caregiver can handle. This statement isn't actually even in the Bible, but be that as it may, know that some times and some days a single person simply cannot do it all. We must seek help in some form or another and that is A-OK!. It is not weakness nor a failure against some test. It is just the nature of the incredibly high demands of the 'job'.

I send you peace, strength, and courage!

Thank you for your reply. I'm always happy to hear others comments and opinions. God bless.

I understand totally the evening attitude. Dementia sufferers very frequently get more so as the day goes on and by evening it is the most difficult. I work on bearing that in mind, almost like a small child that needs an afternoon nap and the earliest bedtime that is doable, dementia people have these type of challenges that are very different from non-afflicted senior citizens. You are to be praised for your valiant work, day in and day out caring for your cherished life partner. I am 3.5 years into frontotemporal lobe type dementia with my loved one due to a carotid stroke. I give thanks he survived and I do pray for strength and peace for all of us rowing this same boat. I try to go one day at a time, and never hesitate to give yourself that pat on the back for all you do just to get through the day. I don't get out much as I would like now either but keep in touch by phone & online for moral support and connection to the "regular" world. I have worked with dementia seniors, they will mimic your feelings and reactions so I am careful about what I share now with him. Keeping the conversation light and easy seems to allow for less anxiety and confusion on his part. He no longer requires certain levels of intellectual type talk , love, hugs, reassurance and making him feel safe is the priority now. God Bless You, the Good Lord and his Angels are watching over You and Your cherished one.

@ladycat I hope you have a good Sunday ahead!

Peace,

Thank you very much IndianaScott, wishing you a good day too !!