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Meet fellow Caregivers - Introduce yourself
Caregivers | Last Active: Nov 12, 2023 | Replies (707)Comment receiving replies
Hello, my name is Nancy Bush. I am 83 years old, have been married (next month 66 years) My husband has had various cancers since 1996. All cancers were severe, several surgeries. He has asbestos, on oxygen all night, a permanent catheter, which is changed every three weeks. I have been the caregiver all these years. Last October I went to the doctor for a tremendous sore throat and cough. Primary doc said a cat scan which showed fluid in my left lung. Again in December more fluid. January 22 I had surgery, a four food plastic hose inserted in my left lung. Well, four days later they took the hose out, Doc said I have two kinds of lung cancer. Right lung has plain old lung cancer. Left lung has Mesothelioma. So far I have had two cat scans which showed no increase to speak of. Next month Sept. some time I will have another cat scan and see my oncologist. I have been just so emotional for the last several months. I am tired, physically some, mentally much. I suppose some of it is my age. (Not afraid) but..... I don't know. I can talk to my pastor some. I live in a small town on the Oregon coast. 25 miles either direction for a hospital or consular. I don't drive any more which is a problem to even see a doctor.
I thought perhaps this way I can maybe talk. Nancy
Replies to "Hello, my name is Nancy Bush. I am 83 years old, have been married (next month..."
Hello @shortshot80! How wonderful to have you here! I am Scott and I was my wife's primary caregiver for 14 years. I, too, lived in an isolated location and the caregiving added to that isolation. I am so happy you said 'this way I can maybe talk'! YES DO!
While every patient's cancer journey is unique and so, as a result, every caregiver's journey is also -- there are many similarities and commonalities.
I believe as individuals caregivers are immensely strong! As a group, even electronically here, we can be all the stronger!
I hope you feel free to talk and ask questions. We many not have all the answers, but if you are like me, just getting things 'off your chest' can make the journey a slight bit easier!
I send you strength and peace,
I live in a rural area, 25 miles in either direction for hospital/doctors. There is a "dial a ride" in the area, however to go to the doctors, etc is a couple of transfers. Not what I want to do. My oldest son lives with us and does all the driving. He is also a nice listener! He also is the care giver for dad for the most part. My husband "Bob sr" has a foly that the county nurse changes every three weeks, however if any problems with that comes up, Bob Jr, takes care of. Thanks to him as he has been in the same position over the years.
Nancy
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What a resourceful and courageous woman you are to focus on using the resources available to you (the Internet, for example), even when so many of the resources you have relied on are no longer available! I salute you, Nancy. Your strength is inspiring.
Of course you are tired - especially mentally and emotionally. It's not so much age as it is the number of challenges that have been packed into those years, particularly the most recent ones. Are there any local branches of government or nonprofit or community organizations that focus on helping out with things like transportation? Department of Aging has sometimes come through; sometimes not. When I was in Missouri, there was a van that would take people to and from the senior center for events, which enabled people to get out and socialize a little. That was also available for trips to doctors.
It would make sense for communities to do some advance planning for keeping people active as we age, but most communities have not addressed this adequately. Maybe making your needs known will help make solutions available to others going forward.
If you are not already taking full advantage of the helping hearts of friends and neighbors, please reconsider. All of us are afraid of inconveniencing others, yet many people want to help and don't know what to offer.
Your situation is like a 15 on a scale of 10 in terms of stress. I can't even imagine the strength it has taken to get to where you are today. Do use this forum to talk. Sometimes we have ideas for resources; other times we just are there for each other. Either way, there are people here who truly care that your life is hard right now and will do what we can to bring some positives into it.