Is this true?

FWIW and I won’t go to far in depth with this but PCa has positively changed my outlook on Faith (not necessarily religion). I spend some time each day in prayer and reflection. I feel calmer and more accepting of my situation. I feel more accepting, less judgmental, and more compassionate towards my fellow person. I find reasons each day to be thankful and happy. I feel blessed.

There are obviously very ugly sides to organised religion, but faith at its best (inside or outside a religious structure) is a way of reconciling ourselves with the fact that we can't really control everything, and that's OK.

No matter how much we learn through science, there will always be an infinite number of things we don't know ( ∞ - x = ∞), but reaching for the unreachable and trying to understand the incomprehensible is a big part of what makes us human. Faith isn't the only way to do that, but it's a great way to share it with other like-minded people.

You're right. I went to Catholic school and the nuns slapped me a lot for asking too many questions. This led me to have a negative view of religion. A cousin of mine told me he liked to go and sit in a cathedral and I was surprised because our backgrounds were similar. He said "sometimes it's nice to just sit inside a beautiful building and think about things" and I understood. For me, that place is outside. I'm fortunate to live near a large forest with a walking path that leads to a lake and I often go there really early in the morning when there's no one else around and find it very peaceful. It's also nice to see all the animals: deer, foxes, birds, squirrels, rabbits, etc. They all have a different "agenda" than me (for many that agenda is simply "don't get eaten by something else today") but as I've gotten older I've learned there are far more questions than answers.

You should be so lucky. My wife has a health condition that didn’t allow us to have intercourse anymore. That was 24 years ago! I had my prostate removed last November. I had Zero incontinence issues! My third PSA blood test just came back < 0.01. I’m grateful for what I have. Be positive: there are many others in a lot worse shape than you are. Thoughts and prayers.

I tried a vacuum pump and found it very painful and awkward to use. I honestly don't see a vacuum pump in my future. Plus, for some unknown reason, it fascinates my dog and I really don't want her anywhere NEAR there when I'm using it.

Thanks! That's good to know.

I don't know you but I wish you well. We all assign our importance to things in life and sex is definitely one of the more important things. Easy for others to say, but there's other aspects of life to enjoy and try to supplant the longing for sex. It seems like you have identified some already. Focus on those the most you can.
It's comforting to hear that during the day you are in a good frame of mind. Understandable that as the night wears on and your day winds down is when the dark thoughts come in. I don't have an answer for that but I would encourage you to find a professional who can listen and help. Suicide is giving up and I don't get the sense that you are a quitter. Please don't take the easy way; there's still a lot of good in our lives and in the world.
Take care of yourself.

I just joined this site so I may be getting in this discussion a bit late from when it started. However, I'm very glad to see that the topic of gay men with prostate cancer is being discussed. I too am a gay man with very similar feelings about ADT and all its negative side effects and the outlook of getting a sexual life of any sort back to pre-treatment.

Although I've begun to accept the situation (fighting it all the way) a world without even the ability to barely masturbate, I have my days when I really wonder if this is all worth it. Going from having an extremely high libido all my life (including when I'm in my 70s) to almost none, is very difficult for me to accept. It is refreshing to hear from other gay men and those who support the situation helps a great deal. However, having prostate cancer and all that it entails is difficult enough, there is still a different perspective for gay men from heterosexual men when working with healthcare systems and society. I am seeing small strides in this area and look forward to more in the future.

I wanted to respond to you because I am in a much better place now emotionally and a considerably better place physically. I wrote a lot of these posts back in August when I was in the worst throes of ADT--I still had Lupron in my system AND Orgovyx which I had just started. Within a couple months, the Lupron washed out, I went to see a therapist, and also joined a gay men's prostate cancer support group and it's been a huge help to talk about these issues in real time. I started taking an antidepressant and it has helped considerably.

I went back to doing my volunteer work, re-established several friendships I had let go by the wayside, and just generally became more social and less isolated (I was isolating myself by choice). That alone has helped tremendously.

I've even learned to find some humor in things, such as when a doctor asked me "prior to ADT, how often did you have vaginal intercourse?" and I was able to truthfully respond "Never."

Yes, Scott, you have really come a long way from that dark place you were in. You even have your sense of humor back, which is so important when dealing with life’s many challenges.
Hope you continue to focus on the positive and not get bogged down in the possible loss of your sexual abilities. Many of us have found ourselves less than delighted with our current sexual selves but you come to realize that it is just one small part ( no matter how large you think it is!) of who we are. We think it defines us, but it really does not. Yes, it does feel great to give and receive sexual pleasure - no denying that!! - but you’ve traded your very life for that pleasure and unfortunately that’s what it comes down to.
Phil