Thank you. I need to be able to share my concerns with people in the same siruation. While we are not married I have been his partner for 30 years and am his ptimary caregiver. Is it better to agree wifth him when he says he has done something in the past or just agree eith him? He can get angry whem I try to explain that something is not possible.

Do neither if neither is true. With my sister we just smile and nod when she says something untrue. If outsiders are in the conversation I say something like "I don't remember it that way. I remember ..." and that usually gets her either quiet or she picks up from what I said. Example; she was telling the story of selling her house on the very first day it was on the market (which she did not do). I said, I don't remember that but I do remember the man who came up to the door in the middle of the current snow storm to inquire about buying the house. Oh yes, she said and proceeded to say what I said in her own words and then dropped it. Several years ago on this post someone gave the 6 magic words to diffuse the anger of a dementia patient. They are "I was only trying to help". They have worked every time for me in these past 4 years with my sister.

Hi traveler17:
Oh how hard some days can be with the memory thing especially when the patient does not realize what is and what isn't? I have learned over the years not to correct what I know to be true, rather just go on with a conversation that might not be right for you but
is very right for the patient. My energy must be spent doing the care that is necessary and some days I just don't have the strength
to do anything other than agree with all that is said. In the end, it really doesn't matter and sometimes trying to explain just doesn't
work for me or him. Memory is very tricky also, sometimes I think he doesn't know what I am talking about and then the memory
pops in and I am very surprised that he is thinking about something that I thought had left him long ago, Anyway, it is a challenge
to stay on top of the caring thing with all one has to do. Bless you for your loving spirit. OZYS

I do appreciate your support. We are going on a cruise where we will be seated at dinner with people we do not know. Any suggestions on how to handle it when he interrupts and comes up with statements that are simply not true? I dont want him to be embarassed or burt if possible. Any suggestions would be so gratreful.

Traveler17, how well I can relate to your situation We will make it through this because we love those for whom we are caring so very much. Sometimes I want the world to stop so I can get off ur then I realize how much he needs me or perhaps how much I hope he needs me. Hard to tell sometimes.

@tntredhead This is a difficult situation. Blessings and prayers go out for you!

Hi traveler17:
What you could do on a cruise is asked for a private table just for the two of you, which would eliminate the need for him to interact with others, of course it limits your ability to be social. I used to go out for a little time in the afternoon while my husband took a nap and that was my social time, also did the exercise time on treadmill and other things that are available on a ship. Good luck and enjoy the good weather, I am stuck up in Northern Michigan and it is snowing right now. God Bless, OZYS

Hi @traveler17. The following is based only on my personal experiences as a caregiver. While I was a caregiver for my MIL with frontal temporal dementia it was valuable for me to remember I could not apply logic when speaking and dealing with her. A demented brain does not operate logically, so trying to insert logical explanations, such as 'I am sorry honey, but that was not how I remember it' or similar only further frustrated and agitated her. I would also caution you about something, which occurred with regularity with my MIL. Whenever she visited or went to someplace outside her home boundaries her agitation, fear, and aggravation all increased. Changes in milieu can be difficult for some folks with dementia. I just say this as a word of advance awareness for you in case it occurs on your cruise.

Peace and strength

I had requested that but they are not available. Hope we are placed with understanding peoplep

I've been dealing with my Mom's version of reality vs reality for about 5 years now. I do not correct her... What's the point? She's 87 and I would hurt her feelings. The things she says are not harmful. She may say she is getting married and needs to get new shoes... or wonder which preacher she should use. I just respond with something like, "don't forget to invite me!" or "Who's the lucky guy?" On the cruise with people you are not going to have a long term relationship with - just go with the flow - and not make a big deal out of who is right. If there has to be some facts set straight, Don't do it in front of your loved one. Catch the table mates else where and "explain" if you feel you must. Don't spoil your vacation worrying about details... In 20 years from now; will it matter? But the hurt your loved one would feel from being corrected in front of others will last a long time.