Is this true?

Posted by scottbeammeup @scottbeammeup, Aug 1 4:39pm

I was starting to do a lot better but then I read that it can take 18 months to get my testosterone back to my pre-ADT level (~600) when my six month Lupron shot wears off ? I also read that impotence from radiation kicks in at 18-24 months.

Does this mean I will NEVER get my sexuality back again, i.e. impotence will kick in just as my testosterone is finally recovering enough? I honestly don't think I can go on, or even WANT to go on, if this is the case. I used to have sex at least twice a week and haven't even been able to masturbate for four months now. What's the point of life with no intimacy?

I wasn't told ANY of this when I reluctantly started treatment and just found this out from doing online research. I finally felt I was making progress but now feel once again like my soul is crushed. I don't see any quality of life ahead of me at all.

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Prostate Cancer Support Group.

@scottbeammeup

My doctor said he's fine with letting me switch to Orgovyx so we'll see when my current Lupron shot wears off. The most frustrating thing for me is that I can still get good erections but they don't last very long AND I can't reach orgasm no matter how hard I try. I did have radiation so maybe the nerves for erection and orgasm are permanently fried?

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As I mentioned in a previous post, my ability to have a (dry) orgasm returned about a year to 18 months after radiation (I don't remember exactly), even though I'm still on ADT and Erleada. So "hang" in there ... (get it?). šŸ˜‰

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@ziggypop

>>>Several guys in my support group have had partners of 10, 15 and even 20 years leave them after they got prostate cancer.<

comment disappeared.

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With partners like that you're better off without them . I bet you felt better when these hanger- ons left . Just looking for a meal ticket & pension plan -- Your insurance .

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@scottbeammeup

Ugh 12 years :(. Now that is extremely depressing but thanks for at least giving an honest answer.

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Smile & Cheer Up.
Think of the story about the drunk who got cremated - He drank so much Scotch Whiskey -- When cremated -- It took 2 weeks to put out the fire .

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@clandeboye1

With partners like that you're better off without them . I bet you felt better when these hanger- ons left . Just looking for a meal ticket & pension plan -- Your insurance .

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Oh I fully agree. Those were the exceptions and not the rule, thankfully. I have noticed since getting cancer that several people in my life seem uneasy and don't really know how to talk to me anymore. I wish that they just continued to treat me the same way they always had, but I've heard this is a common thing so I may just have to let it go because just as many have gone out of their way to help me.

There are a lot of elderly widows in my neighborhood and I guess word got around because they all started bringing me food. I don't have the heart to tell them that I can't eat three tuna casseroles, and as much as my dog would love them I don't think it's a good idea šŸ˜ƒ.

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@ziggypop

Scott,
my comments disappeared. I'll try again and make it shorter.

Releationships end for a variety of reasons, gay or straight. The joy of sex is important to many releationships, but not all. You had found a partner that sex was not important to, you can find another.

You are taking hormones that have side effects, depression is one of the side effects. Please try to remember that when self pity comes into your thinking. It's ok to visit the house of self pity, just don't move in.

Please find a professional therapist to talk to. Find out 'why' sex is so important to you because sex is not an essential part of life like food, water and shelter is.

Not trying to sound flippant but Attitude is Everything. A therapist can help with that.

Just because your dingy does not want to sail does not change the kind of person you are. You help others and and can continue to help others and make a difference in the world, in th words of Jim Valvano, don't give up, don't ever give up.

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| Find out 'why' sex is so important to you ...

My therapist asked me that question directly and I told her it was the intimacy and also a feeling of power to dominate someone in a very primal way, but always in a way that the other person wanted (i.e. I NEVER pressured anyone into anything non-consensual).

She tied it back to me always wanting to be in control. Then she asked how many hours a week I spent on sex previously and I said "probably 2-3" and her response was "OK, so the other 137 or so hours haven't really changed that much" and I sort of laughed at the absurdity of it.

She's very good in that she told me her goal upfront is to take something traumatic and help me figure out how to turn it into a way to grow and change but she also said the process isn't going to be easy and that there is a definite loss that has to be properly grieved with sadness and maybe some anger.

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@scottbeammeup

My doctor said he's fine with letting me switch to Orgovyx so we'll see when my current Lupron shot wears off. The most frustrating thing for me is that I can still get good erections but they don't last very long AND I can't reach orgasm no matter how hard I try. I did have radiation so maybe the nerves for erection and orgasm are permanently fried?

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Great news about the switch to Orgovyx. Hopefully that will be a game changer. Iā€™m 3 weeks post 31 sessions of IMRT and things arenā€™t working as well as they were before surgery and I expect that over time things will improve. Rome was not built in a day and all of us that have gone through surgery and radiation and now are on ADT need to accept that it will take some time to get things working again.

Patience is warranted and prudent here. That can be difficult. Let me share my ā€œprayer for patienceā€ with you. Itā€™s short.

Dear God, please grant me patience and I want it NOW!

Seriously, so much of coping with all this often requires that we change how we look at things. There is an old adage that says ā€œChange the way you look at things and things will change. Thatā€™s certainly appropriate here.

Remember, youā€™re not alone. Those of that that respond to your posts hear you and are here to support you as best we can.

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said the process isn't going to be easy and that there is a definite loss that has to be properly grieved with sadness and maybe some anger.

Certainly grief , anger and at least for me a fear of change. Change in losing something so fun!! and also a small look into our mortality and glimpse into the not so fun aspects of aging.

Keep doing good things for others, do not let depression get you down and keep reaching out, good luck, Ziggy

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@scottbeammeup

Oh I fully agree. Those were the exceptions and not the rule, thankfully. I have noticed since getting cancer that several people in my life seem uneasy and don't really know how to talk to me anymore. I wish that they just continued to treat me the same way they always had, but I've heard this is a common thing so I may just have to let it go because just as many have gone out of their way to help me.

There are a lot of elderly widows in my neighborhood and I guess word got around because they all started bringing me food. I don't have the heart to tell them that I can't eat three tuna casseroles, and as much as my dog would love them I don't think it's a good idea šŸ˜ƒ.

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Beware . Don't let these widows get too close . Marriage , life insurance , estate potential ?
I have seen it all .

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@robertmizek

Great news about the switch to Orgovyx. Hopefully that will be a game changer. Iā€™m 3 weeks post 31 sessions of IMRT and things arenā€™t working as well as they were before surgery and I expect that over time things will improve. Rome was not built in a day and all of us that have gone through surgery and radiation and now are on ADT need to accept that it will take some time to get things working again.

Patience is warranted and prudent here. That can be difficult. Let me share my ā€œprayer for patienceā€ with you. Itā€™s short.

Dear God, please grant me patience and I want it NOW!

Seriously, so much of coping with all this often requires that we change how we look at things. There is an old adage that says ā€œChange the way you look at things and things will change. Thatā€™s certainly appropriate here.

Remember, youā€™re not alone. Those of that that respond to your posts hear you and are here to support you as best we can.

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Speaking of prayers, I'm pantheist (I believe all religions are seeking the same truth in different ways), but I did pray during the first, long night lying alone in a hospital bed after I learned about my cancer.

I didn't pray to be cured, because I refuse to believe in a supreme being or force or spirit (or whatever) so petty and cruel that it wouldn't just go ahead and cure people on its own if possible.

Instead, I prayed with an invitation: "Whatever happens, please stay with me through it; don't let me be alone." Whether it's coming from inside or outside me, I haven't felt desperately alone since, so I guess it was an ok prayer. šŸ¤·ā€ā™‚ļø

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@northoftheborder

Speaking of prayers, I'm pantheist (I believe all religions are seeking the same truth in different ways), but I did pray during the first, long night lying alone in a hospital bed after I learned about my cancer.

I didn't pray to be cured, because I refuse to believe in a supreme being or force or spirit (or whatever) so petty and cruel that it wouldn't just go ahead and cure people on its own if possible.

Instead, I prayed with an invitation: "Whatever happens, please stay with me through it; don't let me be alone." Whether it's coming from inside or outside me, I haven't felt desperately alone since, so I guess it was an ok prayer. šŸ¤·ā€ā™‚ļø

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I know this sounds hippy-dippy but there have been times when I've been walking in the woods and I will ask the universe "why did this happen?" and the "answer" will be a rabbit running by or the wind in the trees.

When my dad passed away I asked "why" and when I returned to work after bereavement leave a plant I had on my desk had sprouted a beautiful flower, something it had never done before. I interpreted that as the "answer" even though I don't understand it.

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