Are you on her paperwork as a POA for medical stuff and on the HIPPA release at all the doctor's offices? Yes, women have been given short shrift in addressing the urinary incontinence, often seeing male doctors trained by malemptying doctors, on male patients.
My mom had leakage issues (7 pregnancies, 6 live births) and likely had pelvic organ prolapse issues, and no pelvic muscle tone left.
She was taking 2 urologist prescribed meds (the names escape me) One was an a.m. dose of a diuretic, to help her release/relieve/empty her bladder during the day. The other was prescribed for bedtime use, to help her keep dry. She (college educated, lab scientist) did not read or retain the information from the package inserts so she was taking both meds at the same time of day. No way they would work as prescribed--they were in direct competition with each other.
The other thing with women, as our reproductive hormones are responsible for so many functions, is that we can develop genito-urinary syndrome of menopause. It used to be called "vaginal atrophy" Essentially, as estrogen hormone levels drop the tissues of the vulva, and vagina, aren't maintained in the same robust manner and especially as we age, that can irritate and exacerbate the urethra (the tube from the bladder to outside the body) Now they recommend all women use external estradiol (cream or suppository) til the end of life, so those tissues can be maintained in a healthier manner.
You could try to find a uro-gynecologist for her care--to have someone who specializes in womens health in the genito-urinary system.