A brief update to "Ready to throw in the towel"

Posted by scottbeammeup @scottbeammeup, Jul 23 7:55am

Hi all.

First, thank you all so much for responding to my previous post. I reread it as an impartial observer and thought "OMG this guy needs help" so I decided to get some help. I've always been an "in control" and "leader" type person so this was not easy to do.

I met with a therapist yesterday for an initial two hour session, and will be seeing her once a week for awhile. I also had a fantastic conversation with a prostate cancer mentor from Zero who had been through almost the exact same thing I'm going through now and gave me an excellent perspective. I learned that their feelings initially were almost identical to mine but that, with time and help, they got their life back (their treatment was more than 15 years ago), albeit with some changes. As an aside, they are working on putting together a class for people who will be going on ADT so that we're not so blindsided by some of the side effects that we aren't told about.

Both were very honest. The therapist feels that I have depression and is going to have me talk to a psychiatrist to see if short-term medication might be appropriate. She also pointed out that the Xanax I'm taking every night for sleep might be part of the problem, particularly when it comes to short term memory issues, so I am going to see a sleep specialist as well next week and start weaning myself of the Xanax.

I also contacted my cancer center about the physical pain I've been experiencing and they said I should have contacted them right away so I have an appointment there later today to discuss options.

A good friend gave me an idea for dealing with the mood swings. She said she had the same thing in menopause and what helped was viewing emotions as weather. For example: "the forecast for today is mostly happy with a sh*tstorm of sadness and grief moving through from 3-5. Tomorrow's forecast is partly happy with a chance of an angry outburst around noon." Just telling myself "this too shall pass."

So, again, thank you all. I can't say that I'm feeling better yet but, to use an analogy, I felt like cancer and ADT had pushed me to the bottom of a lake and were holding me down there but I've made the decision I'm going to fight and swim toward the surface. I have a long way to go but at least there's upward movement.

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Prostate Cancer Support Group.

Great - I like your sense of humor .

REPLY
@robertmizek

Thanks for the update post. When I read your original post, my heart ached for you because I went through a serious bout of depression before I started ADT. When the depression worsened to the point where I considered ending my life prematurely I decided to seek professional help. My care provider, Northwestern Medicine in Chicago offers free counseling to cancer patients and my counselor has been fantastic. I’m glad to hear that you’ve got someone who can give you perspective and help you on your journey.

I’d like to relate a few thoughts to you and hope that some of them are helpful. I won’t pretend that I understand 100% how you feel because even though I’ve had a similar challenge, we’re all unique.

I opted to take ORGOVYX daily pills instead of the Lupron shot. Before I started ADT, I spoke to a number of men and saw a pattern that those taking ORGOVYX had less severe side effects than those taking the 3 month or 6 month Lupron shot. The pills are expensive and I’ve needed some financial help to be able to afford them, but my side effects have been quite manageable; more manageable than my friends who took the Lupron shot.

You’re an active guy. I can relate. Diagnosed with a second bout of aggressive prostate cancer, (this time Gleeson 9 stage 3 with lymph node involvement) I thought my life as I knew it would be over. I heard this horror stories and saw what ADT did to some of my friends that had ADT as part of their journey. The thought of that happening to me was more than I could bear. At age 68, I considered myself to be fit if not outright athletic in shape. It was suggested to me that I have a plan for my MIND, my BODY, and my SPIRIT. You might do well to consider having a plan for each of these too.

I met with a personal trainer that was skilled in putting together resistance training for cancer patients. The services of the trainer were provided free from Northwestern Medicine however, I would’ve gladly paid for them had I needed to. The trainer put together a plan on that addressed upper body resistance training, lower body resistance training, and Cardio. I had a gym membership before and considered starting a new one, but decided that it would be better if I wasn’t in an environment where I would be tempted to compare my physical condition to that of others around me. I bought a used Bowflex on Facebook marketplace and made some room in the basement for it. I alternate upper body one day and lower body the next day. I power walk or cycle every day. If the weather is bad, I use my elliptical but much prefer being outside. Nice weather lifts one spirits. I initially put on 10 pounds from ADT and have worked five of those pounds off. I’d be lying to you if I told you that I look forward to working out each day. It’s a grind, but it doesn’t take all that long (30-40 minutes) and I feel better physically and emotionally within an hour of completing a workout. My oncologist said that it’s because our bodies release endorphins as a result of exercise. Sounds legit to me!

I use an app called NOOM to manage my weight (calorie intake) and an Apple Watch to manage my daily calorie burn. Ive found that I can eat a balanced diet, can lose weight and still eat well.

My wife and I have been together for almost 50 years and until surgery in January we enjoyed sex regularly despite being seniors. I faced the double whammy of first and second generation ADT, and the fact that the surgeon was only able to perform nerve sparing on one side. I have an appointment to see a urologist that specializes in erectile dysfunction. Both my surgeon and my oncologist have encouraged me to investigate this. I’m not giving up without a fight and you shouldn’t either.

As for the “spirit” part of the plan I spend a few minutes each day in prayer. I usually combine it with a walk, bike ride, or just might sit quietly in reflection. Prayer has given me a great sense of peace and acceptance of where I’m at in my journey with PCa. If that’s not where you are at in life, you may want to consider something like meditation or perhaps even yoga to help you with mindfulness.

We are all on a journey of sorts and I believe that if you put your mind to it, you can find great enjoyment in life despite your health challenges. I am mentally tougher and more resilient now than before my diagnosis. I hope you get there too.

In the words of Winston Churchill: never give up!

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It Appears you are being proactive and on the right track. we have all been in similar situations to one degree or another . Your a fighter - use that skill to work on recovery . God Bless to you and yours . James on Vancouver Island .

REPLY
@robertmizek

Thanks for the update post. When I read your original post, my heart ached for you because I went through a serious bout of depression before I started ADT. When the depression worsened to the point where I considered ending my life prematurely I decided to seek professional help. My care provider, Northwestern Medicine in Chicago offers free counseling to cancer patients and my counselor has been fantastic. I’m glad to hear that you’ve got someone who can give you perspective and help you on your journey.

I’d like to relate a few thoughts to you and hope that some of them are helpful. I won’t pretend that I understand 100% how you feel because even though I’ve had a similar challenge, we’re all unique.

I opted to take ORGOVYX daily pills instead of the Lupron shot. Before I started ADT, I spoke to a number of men and saw a pattern that those taking ORGOVYX had less severe side effects than those taking the 3 month or 6 month Lupron shot. The pills are expensive and I’ve needed some financial help to be able to afford them, but my side effects have been quite manageable; more manageable than my friends who took the Lupron shot.

You’re an active guy. I can relate. Diagnosed with a second bout of aggressive prostate cancer, (this time Gleeson 9 stage 3 with lymph node involvement) I thought my life as I knew it would be over. I heard this horror stories and saw what ADT did to some of my friends that had ADT as part of their journey. The thought of that happening to me was more than I could bear. At age 68, I considered myself to be fit if not outright athletic in shape. It was suggested to me that I have a plan for my MIND, my BODY, and my SPIRIT. You might do well to consider having a plan for each of these too.

I met with a personal trainer that was skilled in putting together resistance training for cancer patients. The services of the trainer were provided free from Northwestern Medicine however, I would’ve gladly paid for them had I needed to. The trainer put together a plan on that addressed upper body resistance training, lower body resistance training, and Cardio. I had a gym membership before and considered starting a new one, but decided that it would be better if I wasn’t in an environment where I would be tempted to compare my physical condition to that of others around me. I bought a used Bowflex on Facebook marketplace and made some room in the basement for it. I alternate upper body one day and lower body the next day. I power walk or cycle every day. If the weather is bad, I use my elliptical but much prefer being outside. Nice weather lifts one spirits. I initially put on 10 pounds from ADT and have worked five of those pounds off. I’d be lying to you if I told you that I look forward to working out each day. It’s a grind, but it doesn’t take all that long (30-40 minutes) and I feel better physically and emotionally within an hour of completing a workout. My oncologist said that it’s because our bodies release endorphins as a result of exercise. Sounds legit to me!

I use an app called NOOM to manage my weight (calorie intake) and an Apple Watch to manage my daily calorie burn. Ive found that I can eat a balanced diet, can lose weight and still eat well.

My wife and I have been together for almost 50 years and until surgery in January we enjoyed sex regularly despite being seniors. I faced the double whammy of first and second generation ADT, and the fact that the surgeon was only able to perform nerve sparing on one side. I have an appointment to see a urologist that specializes in erectile dysfunction. Both my surgeon and my oncologist have encouraged me to investigate this. I’m not giving up without a fight and you shouldn’t either.

As for the “spirit” part of the plan I spend a few minutes each day in prayer. I usually combine it with a walk, bike ride, or just might sit quietly in reflection. Prayer has given me a great sense of peace and acceptance of where I’m at in my journey with PCa. If that’s not where you are at in life, you may want to consider something like meditation or perhaps even yoga to help you with mindfulness.

We are all on a journey of sorts and I believe that if you put your mind to it, you can find great enjoyment in life despite your health challenges. I am mentally tougher and more resilient now than before my diagnosis. I hope you get there too.

In the words of Winston Churchill: never give up!

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Hi Robert,
I’m so happy to hear that you have been able to receive counseling and are feeling better spiritually. I too am Gleason 9 with lymph node involvement and am also being treated at Northwestern Medicine in Chicago. May I ask who your oncologist is? Mine is Dr. Vanderwheele but he didn’t mention to me I could meet with a personal trainer through Northwestern. Would you mind telling me how to connect with a personal trainer at Northwestern because I too would like to start resistance training. Thanks so much.

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@tom57

Hi Robert,
I’m so happy to hear that you have been able to receive counseling and are feeling better spiritually. I too am Gleason 9 with lymph node involvement and am also being treated at Northwestern Medicine in Chicago. May I ask who your oncologist is? Mine is Dr. Vanderwheele but he didn’t mention to me I could meet with a personal trainer through Northwestern. Would you mind telling me how to connect with a personal trainer at Northwestern because I too would like to start resistance training. Thanks so much.

Jump to this post

Check out this link from Northwestern Medicine on the different programs that they offer to cancer patients and their partners at no cost:
https://livingwellcrc.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/24-1194A-Living-Well-Summer-Program-Guide_WEB.pdf
Page 28 has the info on exercise.

Also sent you a PM.

Bob

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