A brief update to "Ready to throw in the towel"
Hi all.
First, thank you all so much for responding to my previous post. I reread it as an impartial observer and thought "OMG this guy needs help" so I decided to get some help. I've always been an "in control" and "leader" type person so this was not easy to do.
I met with a therapist yesterday for an initial two hour session, and will be seeing her once a week for awhile. I also had a fantastic conversation with a prostate cancer mentor from Zero who had been through almost the exact same thing I'm going through now and gave me an excellent perspective. I learned that their feelings initially were almost identical to mine but that, with time and help, they got their life back (their treatment was more than 15 years ago), albeit with some changes. As an aside, they are working on putting together a class for people who will be going on ADT so that we're not so blindsided by some of the side effects that we aren't told about.
Both were very honest. The therapist feels that I have depression and is going to have me talk to a psychiatrist to see if short-term medication might be appropriate. She also pointed out that the Xanax I'm taking every night for sleep might be part of the problem, particularly when it comes to short term memory issues, so I am going to see a sleep specialist as well next week and start weaning myself of the Xanax.
I also contacted my cancer center about the physical pain I've been experiencing and they said I should have contacted them right away so I have an appointment there later today to discuss options.
A good friend gave me an idea for dealing with the mood swings. She said she had the same thing in menopause and what helped was viewing emotions as weather. For example: "the forecast for today is mostly happy with a sh*tstorm of sadness and grief moving through from 3-5. Tomorrow's forecast is partly happy with a chance of an angry outburst around noon." Just telling myself "this too shall pass."
So, again, thank you all. I can't say that I'm feeling better yet but, to use an analogy, I felt like cancer and ADT had pushed me to the bottom of a lake and were holding me down there but I've made the decision I'm going to fight and swim toward the surface. I have a long way to go but at least there's upward movement.
Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Prostate Cancer Support Group.
Great - I like your sense of humor .
It Appears you are being proactive and on the right track. we have all been in similar situations to one degree or another . Your a fighter - use that skill to work on recovery . God Bless to you and yours . James on Vancouver Island .
Hi Robert,
I’m so happy to hear that you have been able to receive counseling and are feeling better spiritually. I too am Gleason 9 with lymph node involvement and am also being treated at Northwestern Medicine in Chicago. May I ask who your oncologist is? Mine is Dr. Vanderwheele but he didn’t mention to me I could meet with a personal trainer through Northwestern. Would you mind telling me how to connect with a personal trainer at Northwestern because I too would like to start resistance training. Thanks so much.
Check out this link from Northwestern Medicine on the different programs that they offer to cancer patients and their partners at no cost:
https://livingwellcrc.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/24-1194A-Living-Well-Summer-Program-Guide_WEB.pdf
Page 28 has the info on exercise.
Also sent you a PM.
Bob