Having a lot of anxiety regarding cancer treatments

My goodness how I relate! Usually I am such an information gatherer - the more the better. Checking and cross checking. When I was diagnosed with cancer I had reductive surgery, and confirmation I had cancer. But then had to wait slmost 3 months for a diagnosis from my biopsy. My primary was not ovarian cancer, but Stage 4 appendix cancer 🙁

I essentially made peace with God that things might not go well but that He would be on hand whatever happened. I wasn’t ever angry. I reconciled myself to having a very serious illness and i was determined to fight. I gathered a great team of supporters around me.

I also started googling but quickly stopped as the statistics etc were terrible. . I decided the less I knew the better.

Instead I got my Will done, decluttered my stuff and focussed on finding the best cancer team for me by recommendations, research and interview.

My oncologist is a very highly regarded Associate Professor at a top university but who also believes in holistic healing. I clicked with both him and his awesome nurse practitioner. Down to earth, good communicators - not just excellent medical practitioners. I put my trust wholly in them. Apart from rejecting Oxaliplatin as part of my first line treatment and going with Folfiri and Avastin (we chose that together on usual common side effects) I left everything to them. I didn’t want to know my fortnightly blood and urine test results and just wanted to know if things got bad that we may need to look at second line. I avoided the roller coaster and stress and instead focused on doing the best I could do within my new normal to help my body fight - resting when I crashed, eating as healthily as I could when I could, exercising gently, practising mindfulness, using aromatherapy and massage etc.

I essentially closed my mind off to any “what if’s” and focused purely on the here and now. Luckily after 6 months of fortnightly infusions and the 46 hour take home bottle then HIPEC with cytoreductive surgery and a peritonectomy I was pronounced NED 🙌🙌

I’m coming up to 2 years NED 🙌🙌 I’m almost 100% again but still get fatigued.

My cancer isn’t curable and has a high chance of coming back. I live for today and make the most of each day - which includes lolling on the couch with a good book when I feel like it!!

Yes I still get scared each quarter at blood and PET-CT surveillance scan time but i also know if I’m positive again I’ll follow exactly the same approach again 🙏

Mayo Connect is my lifeline for specific info and encouragement to express positivity. Thank you to all patients who lovingly share their experiences with treatments. I “Connect” every morning!

@loveisblind: I feel your frustration dealing with insurance, doctors, treatments and hospitals… it seems so overwhelming. I don’t have experience with your cancer or UCSD, but since my specialist treatment and best quality scans offer me (PRRT treatment for my NET cancer small intestine with metastases to liver and stomach )best chance at quality life for several years controlling tumors at City of Hope Cancer Hospital in Duarte, CA. I am convinced CoH cancer patients receive the best chances for life. They treat each patient with respect and care. I went there for 2nd opinion and am getting cutting-edge specialist care.
I hope you are able to accept this diagnosis and open your thought to researching best doctors, treatment and care available. Medicare has been wonderful in providing prompt approval of my health needs and you will be as grateful as I am.
I am sending you thoughts of positive health care responses! Best to you.

I sort-of had it "easy" (?!?!) because the cancer initially compressed my spine and left me paraplegic.

That means that even with the side effects — sometimes nasty — from prostate-cancer treatments, I feel like I'm getting stronger every month rather than weaker, going from flat on my back to being able to sit up in a wheelchair, to standing for a few seconds with the help of a Sara Stedy and then for a few minutes on parallel bars, to using a walker for a few steps and then a few blocks, etc.

Now, after over 2½ years of continual physio exercises, I just had my first 13,000 step day (no cane), covering 10.3 km.

The ongoing improvement (from an admittedly low starting point) has left me in an optimistic frame of mind.

Felicidades, es el poder del deseo de recuperacion. Mil bendiciones y adelante siempre adelante.