Having a lot of anxiety regarding cancer treatments

I shouldn't say this out loud but I'm one of those people who the less I know the better I can deal with it. I have complete confidence in my medical staff. I had 10 rounds of chemo, as Dr. said "for now". My mind set is the cancer is the worse thing and any treatments that can slow it down is okay by me. I leaned on my wife during the chemo treatments, support when you go makes a difference. I didn't have any time when I thought I didn't want another round, again the cancer is worse then any treatment they give me. For anyone who gets the treatment, I say you can do this. Best to all.

I sort-of had it "easy" (?!?!) because the cancer initially compressed my spine and left me paraplegic.

That means that even with the side effects — sometimes nasty — from prostate-cancer treatments, I feel like I'm getting stronger every month rather than weaker, going from flat on my back to being able to sit up in a wheelchair, to standing for a few seconds with the help of a Sara Stedy and then for a few minutes on parallel bars, to using a walker for a few steps and then a few blocks, etc.

Now, after over 2½ years of continual physio exercises, I just had my first 13,000 step day (no cane), covering 10.3 km.

The ongoing improvement (from an admittedly low starting point) has left me in an optimistic frame of mind.

your comments are why this site is so encouraging, we can be having a bad day, come here and read of other's journey and take hope. There is so much info and encouraging comments on here, a blessing to us all.
Side note, your "poem" on different posting still has me laughing, thanks so much

Would you happen to know the heading of the post where the poem is? I’d love to read it.

I sort-of had it "easy" (?!?!) because the cancer initially compressed my spine and left me paraplegic.

That means that even with the side effects — sometimes nasty — from prostate-cancer treatments, I feel like I'm getting stronger every month rather than weaker, going from flat on my back to being able to sit up in a wheelchair, to standing for a few seconds with the help of a Sara Stedy and then for a few minutes on parallel bars, to using a walker for a few steps and then a few blocks, etc.

Now, after over 2½ years of continual physio exercises, I just had my first 13,000 step day (no cane), covering 10.3 km.

The ongoing improvement (from an admittedly low starting point) has left me in an optimistic frame of mind.

God Bless my Blue Cross & Blue Shield health insurance company from saving me from the Mayo Clinic and Keytruda. Once they cured my stage 3a lung cancer with Ablation, Chemo, Immunotherapy, and taking out part of my lung, I thought treatment worked and I was 100% cancer free and that I was done driving to the Mayo for a while. However, my overzealous Oncology Nurse Practitioner wanted me to start Keytruda Infusion on the 2nd January. Keytruda would be 90 minutes in the Chemo chair with $14,000 worth of drug pumped into my arm every 21 days for the entire year, just in case. I was dreading it, lots of side effects with some of them being diarrhea & death. I left the house at 1am on the 2nd to drive up to the Mayo for a couple of CT scans and blood tests and other BS before my 1st Keytruda infusion. I met with my NP at 10:45 for a check up before I started the Keytruda at 12:45. BC&BS turned down the $250,000 worth of treatments at 10:30 that morning after seeing my CT scan and the path report stating I was cancer free. Once again, thank God for my insurance company for saving me from a year of unnecessary hell. Back in June when I met with my first of many doctors at the Mayo, I was told that it is ALWAYS about the money and to be careful. Unfortunately I am not smart enough or strong enough to tell the Mayo Clinic NO, you have done enough, I am cured and please stop treatments. We will now be doing some RV traveling this year. GOD is GOOD...

I shouldn't say this out loud but I'm one of those people who the less I know the better I can deal with it. I have complete confidence in my medical staff. I had 10 rounds of chemo, as Dr. said "for now". My mind set is the cancer is the worse thing and any treatments that can slow it down is okay by me. I leaned on my wife during the chemo treatments, support when you go makes a difference. I didn't have any time when I thought I didn't want another round, again the cancer is worse then any treatment they give me. For anyone who gets the treatment, I say you can do this. Best to all.

My goodness how I relate! Usually I am such an information gatherer - the more the better. Checking and cross checking. When I was diagnosed with cancer I had reductive surgery, and confirmation I had cancer. But then had to wait slmost 3 months for a diagnosis from my biopsy. My primary was not ovarian cancer, but Stage 4 appendix cancer 🙁

I essentially made peace with God that things might not go well but that He would be on hand whatever happened. I wasn’t ever angry. I reconciled myself to having a very serious illness and i was determined to fight. I gathered a great team of supporters around me.

I also started googling but quickly stopped as the statistics etc were terrible. . I decided the less I knew the better.

Instead I got my Will done, decluttered my stuff and focussed on finding the best cancer team for me by recommendations, research and interview.

My oncologist is a very highly regarded Associate Professor at a top university but who also believes in holistic healing. I clicked with both him and his awesome nurse practitioner. Down to earth, good communicators - not just excellent medical practitioners. I put my trust wholly in them. Apart from rejecting Oxaliplatin as part of my first line treatment and going with Folfiri and Avastin (we chose that together on usual common side effects) I left everything to them. I didn’t want to know my fortnightly blood and urine test results and just wanted to know if things got bad that we may need to look at second line. I avoided the roller coaster and stress and instead focused on doing the best I could do within my new normal to help my body fight - resting when I crashed, eating as healthily as I could when I could, exercising gently, practising mindfulness, using aromatherapy and massage etc.

I essentially closed my mind off to any “what if’s” and focused purely on the here and now. Luckily after 6 months of fortnightly infusions and the 46 hour take home bottle then HIPEC with cytoreductive surgery and a peritonectomy I was pronounced NED 🙌🙌

I’m coming up to 2 years NED 🙌🙌 I’m almost 100% again but still get fatigued.

My cancer isn’t curable and has a high chance of coming back. I live for today and make the most of each day - which includes lolling on the couch with a good book when I feel like it!!

Yes I still get scared each quarter at blood and PET-CT surveillance scan time but i also know if I’m positive again I’ll follow exactly the same approach again 🙏

You are amazing !!! Great courage and strength !!
Stay the course the lord God has you in the palm of his hand !!
On the wings of a Dove He sends His pure sweet Love ❤️ a sign from above on the wings of a Dove!!
Play this loud on your phone
God is with you !!
❤️🙏🏼. Maura