I am so sorry to hear you are going through this. Anyone that has not experienced anxiety cannot understand how debilitating it is. I have had anxiety on some level for as long as I can remember and feel panic attacks as soon as I think of having to drive or be in groups of people. This was never the case for me 10 years ago as I was very successful in my job. I am 72 now and retired and sit with my anxiety daily because I rarely have anything else to do. Thankfully, I have a doctor who is very understanding, and I have been taking benzos for the length of my problem. He feels that if they are doing the trick, and the dose is not that high, which compared to many it is not, that I am fine sticking with them. Something out there has made us think that this type of medication is bad and we are weak people for needing it. I don’t know where that came from but I know that I frequently tell myself I need to be able to stop taking this. Normal people don’t need these things. Well, over the last couple of weeks I’ve decided that’s a crock!! My daughter visited recently because I’d become too anxious to even fly. She left me with a book on anxiety and suggested I might want to see a therapist. She also supported my need to stick with benzos based on the alternative. I can take this medication and be calm and get things done or I can be a buzzing mess all day, checking my blood pressure every hour to make sure I’m not gonna die any minute. I have an ascending aortic aneurysm that is checked annually, but not in a good place in my aorta should I need surgery. My aorta and your heart are making us crazy! I think we both need to quit worrying about something that is not happening right now and take charge of our lives. I hope you are able to find a doctor that can give you the medication you need to live your life without this horrible feeling. I was even concerned about moving up from the dose I was originally given, which is only .5 mg once a day. I now take anywhere from .75 to 1.0 mg. There are folks out there without anxiety that take 6 mg or more just to feel better. I am taking mine to be able to live my life. Only within the last week or so have I decided that I am fine and I will get through this. I truly hope you can too.