To the lovely people in this chat, thank you for your comments. I am starting to feel like I have a fan following. Six months ago, I told my husband that I wanted to die. A sane person would have realized not to lay this weight on a person with dementia. His comment in return was that he didn't understand because he was so happy. It was a confirmation that we live in different universes, and while my workload was making me nuts, it kept him in a place of calm and joy. That's when I went on meds and started posting on the Mayo forum for caregivers. With a change of perspective that my needs were important, I have surfaced from an awful wormhole. I share this because I want to remind you how resilient we can be. Heck, I want to remind myself that I am resilient. -- Today, my husband joined me and my Writing Group for a luncheon I planned for my 87th birthday. Is it weird to celebrate an 87th birthday? Well, like those supposed rules, we are all searching for to get a handle on dementia; who gets to say what is a good idea? Try something new. Put things that might be helpful into place before there is a frantic search for a critical need. My boy was at his peacock best at the party. He did his best to be the comic wit I married. Nobody seemed to mind that he asked where they lived or what they did several times. -- Yesterday is gone, and who knows if tomorrow will bring calm or mayhem. But today was really, really good. GloRo