The ways others react to news of your prostate cancer

You're more politel than I am. From my hospital bed, I ORDERED my two younger brothers to start annual PSA tests immediately, even if they had to pay for the tests themselves (being eldest comes with certain privileges).

An Amazing range of replies to the " YOU HAVE CANCER RESPONSE .
As Dr. Patrick Walsh states in his book " Guide to Surviving Prostate Cancer " - This news is a kick in the gut . 90% + have never researched anything remote to the tests and treatments for prostate cancer . I advise NEW patients in Canada , UK , USA and Australia when they broach the issue .
"I have just been digonosed with prostate cancer -- What do I do ? "
My 1st advise . " Do not panic and have a knee jerk procedure -- You are not going to die tomorrow " Immediately educate yourself - Buy Dr Walsh's book . Join a support group and be able to understand and converse from a more informed point of view with yyour Urologist .
Write down and ask him probing questions . Have someone attend these meetings with you - Do not go alone . Don't be shy to request 2nd opinions , on your MRI for example Radiologists for example tend to overstate the PI-RADS Score . Also a 2nd opinion of your Pathology Report ( Your Biopsy Slides ) .
Finally - Continue from age 40 or 45 into your eighties or longer , to get a PSA Test .
DO NOT. I repeat DO NOT stop getting a PSA at age 70 or 75 .

I agree 100% Both my brothers-in-law listened to their doctors ( not Urologists ) and stopped getting a PSA .
Both were diagonosed , one aged 89 the other 84 , with Stage 4 Prostate Cancer , in their bones etc . Too late , they died a horrible death 2 years apart .. Hormone treatment -- AVOID- AVOID at all costs if at all possible .

I'll just add that I was also diagnosed with stage 4 prostate cancer in my spine (at age 56), and am very hopeful *not* to die a horrible death any time soon, given recent advances in treatment. But I agree entirely with your reasoning. And hormone treatment hasn't been all that bad for me, perhaps just because I'm younger (I'd prefer not to be on it, but it doesn't prevent me from being active enjoying my life).

A positive outlook , like yours , is a great healing medicine .
Good luck .

Thanks! I'm almost 3 years in, I can walk again (the tumour initially left me paralysed from the ribs down), my PSA remains undetectable, and my oncologists tell me I should start planning for retirement after all. I know how incredibly lucky I am to have had this diagnosis in 2021 instead of a few years earlier.

And I am so sorry for what your brothers experienced. No one should have to go through that, at any age.

I think one big thing that effects how others respond is not knowing I have stage 4. That's a show stopper for a conversation. I've only had one conversation with a coworker where I mentioned it, but only after they had said it could get worse. My family knows of course. My thought is that this is my journey, my wife's as well, not theirs. Others have their life to live. Imagine having someone talk about the same thing every day they would run from you. I've said before this site is a blessing, here we can talk about it every day and get support from all. Best to all.

My prediction (which I hope to live to see confirmed) is that in the future the 2020s will be remembered, not necessarily as the decade when cancer was "cured", but the decade when stage-4 cancer became a long-term chronic disease to manage (like HIV or Parkinson's) rather than the terminal diagnosis that it had been in previous decades.

The article in Scientific American last spring, personal stories here in the forum, and my oncologists' new optimism all suggest we might already there with prostate cancer, but we won't know for sure until researchers have had more years to follow patients and analyse the data.

All good comments and advice here. When people find out you have prostate cancer unless they have first hand information the best thing they can say is “I’m sorry you have to deal with that and I wish you all the best”. Easy for someone to say it’s the “best cancer you can get” as long as it’s not them that have the diagnosis. Some people like to call bladder cancer the “nuisance” cancer. Well I was diagnosed with bladder cancer in 2008 a co-worker told me it just a nuisance cancer. Basically 5 years of hell for me. One year later her husband was diagnosed with bladder cancer and he died 4 months later. Don’t get me wrong I was heartbroken for her and her loss. My point is should you not fully understand something maybe you should put more thought into your comments. God Bless everyone here, Ken

I try to go with People mean well, but unless you go into great detail they can't understand what it means. I've also gotten comments of it's one of the "good" ones. In what world is any cancer a good one. I'll admit before my diagnosis I had no idea about prostate cancer and all the stages. Had never met anyone who had it. I try to take any comments as well wishes to me, some even make me laugh inside. Best to all.