I am not in the boat you are in. My husband is cheerful and still tries to be helpful even as I have to direct him through the minor details of what he perceives as useful to ease my day. Even with his pleasantness, it is difficult managing his colostomy, incontinence, and cancer, being the driver, doing the shopping, paying the bills, and overseeing the maintenance of a house that we love but often needs repairs. I frequently want a life that does not revolve around another's needs 24-7. I might get into trouble here, but one of the platitudes said to make those who are dying on the inside is "God does not give you more than you can handle." I don't believe anyone has the right to tell you how much is enough. Only you know what your limit is. I recently had an 87th birthday. So, I think I have a little wisdom to pass on. Weigh your options and responsibilities carefully. Be decent with your choices. Try everything in your power to make the situation better. If, in the end, nothing changes and leaving is the only option, do it. There will be sadness, but sometimes the only thing that can be salvaged is the knowledge that you have done your best. -- GloRo