I *feel* your "pain!" Physical, mental, emotional. My exhaustion and frustration with docs is beyond description at this point. Some are lucky..they find a moral and ethical physician who is both smart, compassionate and actually enjoys a challenge/trying new things. Others, you and I for example, must suffer. This betrayal of their moral and ethical codes began during the insurance "crisis" when managed care blew up in their faces. Then there was covid, the final straw. I've watched amazing physicians become different people. It's their way or the highway, it's ignoring your messages when at one time, they were there for you, it's a lack of insight and time and so much more. I understand their issues, believe me, I do, but if you've chosen to help people in need and you can't do it, for whatever reason, then patients suffer.
I could go one for pages. Let's just say, when I leave the doc's office, I either feel hopeless or angry/frustrated, knowing for certain that they are NOT doing no harm. They ARE.