@blcook1963

Welcome to Mayo Connect, hopefully you can get answers to help yourself and maybe your brother. It is very hard to help your brother with alcohol abuse if he is not willing to help himself. I see you also posted in "Prioritizing Relationship". Your in very tough situation between helping your brother and the relationship with your husband.

Have you checked into Al-Anon? It a support group for people, just like you, who are worried about someone with a drinking problem. Can find out more info at https://al-anon.org/
You may also want to discuss this with a therapist. A therapist can help you work out all the emotions of the responsivity you feel toward your brother and relationship with husband.

Has your brother reached out to social services in your state / city for alternatives to living with you or on the street as you mentioned in other post?

Note the last sentence! If they don't want what we have, almost impossible to give it to them.
We all want to help. BUT!!!!

Rarely have we seen a person fail who has
thoroughly followed our path. Those who do not
recover are people who cannot or will not completely
give themselves to this simple program, usually men
and women who are constitutionally incapable of be
ing honest with themselves. There are such unfortunates. They are not at fault; they seem to have been
born that way. They are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a manner of living which demands
rigorous honesty. Their chances are less than average.
There are those, too, who suffer from grave emotional
and mental disorders, but many of them do recover if
they have the capacity to be honest.
Our stories disclose in a general way what we used
to be like, what happened, and what we are like now.
If you have decided you want what we have and are
willing to go to any length to get it—then you are
ready to take certain steps.

As was suggested - please check out Al-Anon. Go to at least six different meetings to see if it is for you. Learning to not be dragged down by someone else’s alcoholism is possible! Learning to prioritize our health and our other relationship is possible! There is not anything really you can do for your brother but there is so much you can do for you!!!

I learned the hard way, that I can’t help anyone if I destroy myself in the process.

Once I started taking care of myself, what I needed to do for others became clear.

I hope you and your brother find the peace you deserve.