I have not written lately because I have been busy and things didn't seem so bad but today I lost it. Negative negative negative and telling me I can't find time to stream our show together. All he can think about. I only wish all I had to think about was " When are we going to watch our show?"
Last night my daughter and granddaughter came for dinner. We had not been with our granddaughter to just enjoy time together. They came over and we had burgers on the deck and then we always like to watch Jeopardy together. My husband says he is not going to watch it and wants me to put on his show. It was really sad. As usual I tried to appease him and also explained this is our time with our daughter and granddaughter. It's not all about him. But it is all about him. I can't go a minute without thinking of him, yet I am still not doing enough. I am ready to explode. And actually, I did this morning. I exploded in the car and was sobbing. My tears are anger and sadness then terrible guilt for yelling and then I worry about him. I took him to the fitness center, which he loves and hopefully he is okay. But I am exhausted.
I could write so much more but want you and everyone else here to know you are not alone. We are losing the person we love and counted on to help us and to make our life better sometimes.
Yes-personality changes. He can't help it and I can't either. Hang in there and thank you for being there and sharing.