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Adult Grandchildren ungrateful or what?
Just Want to Talk | Last Active: Nov 26 1:20am | Replies (69)Comment receiving replies
We have 3 granddaughters, 5-19, and 3 grandsons, 8-16. We live within 40 miles of each other, and have always tried to support the grandchildren in sports, birthdays, holidays, etc.
My husband used to fly fish and golf with my sons. We love them dearly but they don’t stay in touch with their Dad much anymore, he’s 67 and physically fit! Recently, my husband said he’s becoming disenchanted with being a grandparent because the gr. sons don’t seem excited to see him anymore. It concerns me because he used to enjoy them so much and is such a good G. He said more than once he’s beginning to feel disrespected unless he spends money on them. I’ve tried to get him to understand the gr. kiddos are growing up, and our sons have friends to golf with.
We are retired, my husband sub-contracts occasionally, we do have a few social friends, I do volunteer and belong to a good church. Socially and in this political climate, good friends are hard to find, and if you’ve got a good family, cherish them.
Perhaps it’s time for G and Nana to travel and focus on one another?
Does anyone else feel this disconnect?
Replies to "We have 3 granddaughters, 5-19, and 3 grandsons, 8-16. We live within 40 miles of each..."
I agree that it’s time for you and your husband to focus on what you want to do and how to spend your time enjoying yourself. The grandkids are a blessing for all of us and we look forward to this stage of our lives but it’s not that simple anymore. So who or what is the cause of all this disappointment, do we look at our children and blame them for not teaching them to be more respectful and involved with us, my opinion is that it’s no one’s fault, simply put, the times are changing and so are all of us. I have 2 grown up sons and 4 granddaughters 5-17, we don’t reside that far from each other but we may as well live on the other side of the planet, when they were younger we had routine visits and celebrated holidays, today it’s not the same anymore. We retired 5 years ago and somehow thought that we would have more time together however it didn’t happen, my sons work a lot and both are separated from their wives and my granddaughters are more active in their own lives. I really let it trouble me all the time and even when my health changed it didn’t make any difference. I think it would be best for us to do things that we can enjoy and stop waiting around for them to call, it’s not what I wanted but sometimes you have to play with the hands you’re dealt.
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EXACTLY!!
"...it’s time for G and Nana to .... focus on one another?"
Healthy Connections are Not Transactional: we give others, grand children or strangers Without expecting Anything in return, even respect. To expect thus is as in a Mutually negotiated relation as in a work or even family.
What do we the older people need (myself, an octogen)?
Let's be with People who Want each other. Actually this is the recipe for All rewarding connections, aka Friendships. As friends there is NO obligations; we come out of our Mutually Nurturing reasons, whether to talk, play, eat, walk.... We also, it means, accept if someone No Longer finds the connection / friendship interesting enough, without any Judgement. This makes Friendship the noblest of all human connections. This is why, perhaps, Aristotle has said, "Life without a friend is not worth living." (I was really surprised when I saw this)
So folks, let's find connections that truly make us feel good about Ourselves. Let's connect with others what We like most, or second most for our limited time on earth.
I passed one opportunity today because I had a better use of my time if only to find out what is best for tomorrow and next week. This way, I won't have much reason to tell myself "You didn't do best use of your past hour or day or ...."
I'plan to attend a church-for-every-belief this Sunday. I'd like to be a member of humankind...and then find who among them share my particular interests. Wish me luck. I Wish You Luck!