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Strategies for spouses of hearing impaired

Posted by gmhigbee @gmhigbee, Jun 5 2:51pm

Looking for some strategies to help when living with a hearing impact spouse. My husband has hearing loss due to many years in industrial construction. He’s got hearing aides but wears them very little complaining I wore earplugs my entire working career.

One of my frustration is when I say something to him, he might say what? Then I repeat the question and he’ll respond. I’ve learned that most of the time he hears it the first time, processes what I’ve said and then answers. So many times I only ask once and pause for him to respond.

Another frustrating moment comes as we’re talking and he’ll act like he’s hearing, but I believe my tone is hard for him to hear, then he tunes out. When I say did you hear what I said, he’ll say yes, then I ask him to repeat what I said and I realize he did not. Many times he hears bits and pieces and creates a story because he doesn’t want to acknowledge he simply cannot hear.

We do have one strategy that works well for us and that is I get his attention and say “focus” and that works but just casual conversations are challenging.

Any strategies appreciated.

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Hearing Loss Support Group.

judysmayo | @judysmayo | Jun 9 11:22am

I have had Hearing Loss for about 20 years but now my husband also has HL and I am having trouble adjusting because I still think he will hear me no matter what’s going on. I usually call out “hello” to see if he is on the same floor and then I ask him what room he’s in. His hearing loss isn’t that bad so he can usually localize where I am. I still think I can talk to him from the other room and he’ll hear me, but I won’t hear his answer. I heard that it’s the person’s responsibility that wants to talk to go to the other person. That could work except when I have a question and I’m working on the computer and I need him to look at it.

REPLY
tmelin | @tmelin | Jun 9 11:45am
In reply to @julieo4 "I encourage you to look into starting an HLAA chapter in Rochester. That way you will..." + (show)
@julieo4

I encourage you to look into starting an HLAA chapter in Rochester. That way you will get some support from an established organization. Support groups can be so helpful. Not just to the person with hearing loss, but to their family members and friends who are willing to sit back and listen to their stories with an open mind. Learning about auditory fatigue, assistive technology, speech processing, etc. is priceless. There's no cost to develop an HLAA chapter, but there is a great deal of support that can be gained through HLAA. http://www.hearingloss.org for information.

I did this myself many years ago. I can't begin to explain how much I've learned from other people with hearing loss. I've had wonderful audiologists and ENT specialists through my 50 years living with poor hearing but can honestly say I have learned more about living well with it, and being able to explain it to others from the PEOPLE I've met through HLAA than from any of the professionals. Good luck to you.
Here's a thought to ponder. Do you know that it takes a person with hearing loss an average of 5 seconds to respond to a basic question they are asked (especially in a setting with background noise)? 5 seconds feels like 10 minutes to someone waiting for an answer. What do others think when that happens? Why does it happen?

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Thanks Julie.

I previously contacted HLAA in Minneapolis (the closest chapter) and found that if I wanted to connect with them in person I would have to drive 80miles each way. I think there is a need for face to face discussion of our Hearing Loss issues. So your idea of starting a chapter in Rochester is a good one. I will look into it. Thanks.

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Mentor
Julie, Volunteer Mentor | @julieo4 | Jun 9 11:59am
In reply to @tmelin "Thanks Julie. I previously contacted HLAA in Minneapolis (the closest chapter) and found that if I..." + (show)
@tmelin

Thanks Julie.

I previously contacted HLAA in Minneapolis (the closest chapter) and found that if I wanted to connect with them in person I would have to drive 80miles each way. I think there is a need for face to face discussion of our Hearing Loss issues. So your idea of starting a chapter in Rochester is a good one. I will look into it. Thanks.

Jump to this post

If you can gather 4 or 5 people who experience hearing loss it will grow from there. Back in the day (1983) when I started the chapter in Appleton WI, I arranged for a room at our local library and went to our local newspaper and asked them to publicize a special meeting for people with hearing loss. That drew over 50 people to that meeting. A group of 11 offered to work together to make a chapter happen. HLAA Fox Valley Chapter grew from there. It's a bit different today with Facebook and other forms of communication, but the local news can still be of help if they are willing.

The medical professionals can also be helpful if you can get printed information to them to share with patients. They can't give you names. National HLAA might be able to help you by providing the list of members/donors in the Rochester area. Carla Bayer-Smolin is the staff member in charge of chapter development. cbeyersmolin@hearingloss.org is her e-mail address.

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