How do I get thru spine surgery recovery? I need people to talk to

A few years back, I went to prison for a crime I committed during a psychotic episode. In prison, I broke my back lifting weights. I could not walk and was confined to a wheelchair for six weeks. Prisons are not known for being bastions of empathy, nor are they designed for wheelchairs. I was terrified.

I lived on a block with about sixty other men. It's what you'd think of when you think of prison. I didn't have any choice but to rely on the kindness of my fellow inmates. You might be surprised that no one took advantage of me and that most other inmates were happy to help me.

I think it might be because prisoners know what it is like to suffer. Seeing someone who was suffering more than them did not give rise to abuse but compassion, good-natured kidding, and a willingness to help me out.

Now, I enjoy visiting a little coffee shop near my office. Every day, a man I now call a friend comes in who has had a severe stroke. He can't even introduce himself because he can't remember his name. Everyone jumps to help him so much that he tells them to stop. He knows he won't get better without effort.

The moral of this little story is that most people are eager to help. Most people know what it is to suffer. Tell everyone you know how you feel. Ask for help even if all you want is company. You will be amazed at how many people really want to help. Some people like me need to help; it improves their lives.

I no longer keep my mental illness a secret. If I had a stroke, I wouldn't be able to hide it, and no one would judge me. When someone asks me how I am doing, I tell them. I am always surprised at how much people care and want to help. Even more, most want to talk. They are fighting their own battles.

We are alone with our suffering but do not have to be lonely. By sharing my vulnerability, others can do the same and have a chance to give back to me. Who am I to deprive them of that?

I wish you peace and good health all the days of your life.

Denman,
I had a surgery on the low back on one side. Before that, I had pain over pain for the last 2 years. I had a “little” accident and fell down, hitting both rear-ends. Add over add, my pain changed to a diff life. Thankfully, my surgery ended my pain.

I’ve had this for the last 2+ mths. I used my back-holder kept that everyday until 6 days ago. It’s off and my balance problem is still here, but the end of pain gets rid off of my last 50% off; for the rest of it, I need to exercise & stretch my leg muscle, lift my lower muscle, and try working on my level as, I hope, everything gets better.
Greg D.

Very sorry about the difficulties.

I am mostly housebound and mostly bed bound.

And that has been going on since 2002.

It is, of course, not easy.

But this much I will say...there definitely is a transition period.

Over time, we do learn to adapt to the new surroundings, however limiting they are.

Just takes awhile for the brain to come around and accept that we are now in a different state.

Seems that the "fight" between where we were and where we are...is a big part of the battle.

Eventually, we just stop comparing and live for what is in front of us that we can do and enjoy.

And, there are a lot of things we can enjoy.

It is just that our brain, our ego? I don't know...something gets in the way and starts fighting against us being happy? Something like that.

I know that when I am in a very dynamic mood, I can't really sit down and listen to Beethoven. But sometimes, I find myself in a more relaxed mood...and then I can completely enjoy classical music.

Maybe it is something like that? How the ego? eventually gives up the fight and accepts things. And then we can have more peace about it all?

Something like that I guess?

Here's a bit of comedy about health care...hope you like it. From Brian Regan...all G rated humor:

@denman55 Your current situation sounds very difficult and frustrating. Does anyone live with you who can help with the basics? Are you bed bound? Do any medical personnel stop by—like physical therapist, occupational therapists, home care nurse? Was it your choice to be at home rather than a rehab facility? If you answer those questions, members here may be able to help you.
Why did you have surgery on your back?

I had a Laminectomy first on 4/19 due to a diagnosis of Sciatica down my (R) leg. The Laminectomy was done by a Neurosurgeon. However, one week after being home from the hospital, my Sciatica pain returned. I returned to the Neurosurgeon who then decided that I needed to have a L3-4-5 Spinal fusion, which was done on 5/22.
I do not live alone and do have someone here who helps with, so there was no need for me to go to a rehab facility. No, I am not bed bound. I am not yet scheduled for physical therapy - that will happen at the 3-month mark.

Well hello!

Hope you are having a better day, or any day you want. I have Parkinson’s but recently went to Germany for a 5 hour brain surgery. Feeling much better. You’ve got to be patient and do what the doc says. Screw that!

A lot of people just don’t get it. They say you are so lucky, lots of people can’t do this or that. I tell them it is not a contest.

I have a friend who lives in Thailand he is a multi millionaire 20 million. He’s 80 and had back surgery, said it was the worst pain he had ever experienced. I wish you well my friend!

Home is best. Around everything you know and love.

Dear All of You,
My back surgery (as I wrote), today - at home in my kitchen area, I move back ‘n forth, I don’t hold anything; just walking by itself. Every no pain; not falling down. I live this & I exercise most 2-3 times a day, but going out, I need the 4th walker, thankfully
Greg D.

I had spondylolisthesis L5s1.. Surgery in 2003. No longer employed, had a work comp case, no money. I fortunately had my Downs Syndrome sister living with me. She helped me immensely. I cried. I slept. My sis could help make us sandwiches and pour milk. I remember that she went to work and I had to stand to look out for her bus. I cried. It got better. Slowly but surely. I got off the pain meds. You can’t poop on those things. Took about 6 months to feel ok. Then I started feeling better than I had in years. Too good. Fell down and screwed it all up. So be careful when you feel like a million bucks. You will drop many things for about a month after surgery. Not sure why. I got orthotics a few years later. Big difference. I cried a lot and was afraid but I did it . Baby steps. You will get better.