How do I get thru spine surgery recovery? I need people to talk to

Am I experiencing PTSD as a result of my 2 surgeries?I just had 2 back surgeries. I guess I wasn't really anticipating the impact of how these surgeries and my recovery would impact my mental and emotional health when I got home from the hospital. But I'm finding this to be very difficult and stressful. My body is in pain and it's going to take me months to recover from the surgeries and I'm trying to hold on and prevent a melt-down, but it's hard, and I have many tearful days and nights. I am a 69 year old male who just had a Laminectomy on 4/19 and a Spinal fusion on 5/22. I could just use some friendly support to help get me thru this. Many thanks.

Good morning, @denman55 I haven’t had back surgery but I did have a really lengthy recovery period from cancer and a bone marrow transplant. You have my empathy. Those long days of not being able to be very physically active, bored, uncomfortable…they can sure take a toll on the psyche.

One of my fellow mentors, @jenniferhunter had spinal surgery and I’m sure she’d be happy to talk to you. Maybe she’ll have some insight on your recovery time and offer some suggestions to have you feeling a little better about the future.

Do you have any friends or family around who can drop by to give you a hand on a few chores and spend some time shooting the breeze? You mentioned that this is your second back surgery. Does it feel as though this recovery is slower than the first time around?

@denman55

I was responding to another Connect member few days ago and first time saw term Medical PTSD (Post-traumatic stress disorder). But when though about it, surgery or other medical procures or encounters are very stressful. Medical PTSD can be from things going wrong medical or just the anxiety / stress related to medical situation.

Surgeons usually concentrate on the physical part and not prepare the patient for the psychological impact. I know when I have had surgery, I think I am on road to recovery and get frustrated when either thing do not go as planned or slower then I want.

Reminds me of a AA saying: One day at a time, or sometimes, one hour at a time.

Concentrate on improvement and success your having and realize there will be setbacks. Do you journal? Maybe write down one thing you did today that you were not able to do yesterday. Do not need a notebook - write in on post-it note and stick on mirror.

Do you have a support system or help at home?

Good morning, denman55 (@denman55)

I’m sure you’ll get many responses as the day rolls along, but although our situations are different, I, too, am recovering, in my instance, from a long-lasting sepsis infection that has robbed me of a good deal of my strength.

What caught my attention in your message was the phrase “ … trying to hold it together … ” I am a cheerful, glass-brim-full kind of guy by nature (79, by the way), but sepsis has me battling through bouts of … I’ll not call it depression, the “blues” is a better word. I’ve been keeping my blues a secret.

The other day at my primary doctor’s office, the nurse said, “Oh, Ray, you’re always such a happy guy!” I smiled but thought, “If only you knew … ”

That’s why your post stopped me in my tracks. Although our circumstances radically differ, we each harbor an uncomfortable truth about the spirit-draining challenges of a long recovery.

I wish you well and a speedy journey to better days.

Ray

Hello Ray -

Many thanks for your reply, it was most welcomed. I'm sorry to hear about your recovery from this long-term sepsis infection. I truly hope your spirits have risen a bit and that you are doing better these days ....

Yes, I truly am trying to keep it together. I am not dealing well with this recovery - I guess I feel it has robbed me of my life in many ways and forced me into a real state of inactivity and recovery which has certainly dampened my spirits.

I'm trying to keep busy, mentally and engaging in activities, be it doing a word puzzle or watching TV or listening to music. I find it all is helping me. So I hope to just keep on with these activities until I am able to move more freely with less pain .

Wishing you all the best for your recovery . .

~ Patrick

Thank you for your reply. It is much appreciated Lori. My first back surgery was a Laminectomy done on April 19th. My second surgery was this Spinal fusion done on May 22nd. So I had 2 back surgeries within a month of one another, which has added a double-whammie to my recovery and my pain and discomfort.

Fortunately I have a room-mate, and a next door neighbor who are extremely helpful right now during my recovery. I don't know what I would do without them. I have no family members left, they have all passed on.

I would be delighted to hear from Jennifer Hunter,, and yes, I believe she might have some wonderful insights on my recovery. So, thank you for that.

Hope to hear from you again, thank you Lori.

@denman55 I've been reading your other posts, so I know that as an RN, you are looking up medical information, and you've had a lot of years of living in pain that eventually brought you to spine surgery. It's OK to feel frustrated and scared because you haven't experienced this before and you don't really understand the complexity of it all until you're there. Now with the roles reversed, you are not providing care for someone else, and I know that is hard to accept, when you need assistance from someone else. I think eventually, most people will be both a caregiver and a care receiver at different times in their lives.

Living with a stapled surgical incision must be torture, but you are on the countdown to having those staples removed and for each day, you can add a gold star on the calendar. When I had a bad ankle fracture 4 years ago, the month in the hard cast with all the sutures pulling and catching against the gauze was painful if I moved at all and I couldn't lean against one side to avoid it because there had been incisions and stitches on both sides of the ankle. That was much more painful and for a longer period of time than my cervical fusion and I could not aim my foot downward because gravity increased my pain 10 fold and swelling inside a hard cast is just torture. Living with that disability for months was challenging and mostly I laid on the couch with my foot elevated all the time, and I could hobble my way with a walker when I needed to use the bathroom. What really helped emotionally was to get outside and I had my husband drive me to a forest preserve where I could watch the river that has a boat launch, and from the parking lot, I could see the trees and birds and watch the river. Just getting out of the house helped a lot.

You sound like an avid gardener and must miss that. You might enjoy a blooming orchid plant inside to cheer you up, and they are available at grocery stores and very easy to care for and the flowers last a long time if you get one that just started blooming. I like roses too with a peach color being my favorite.

I also had PTSD about surgery, but mine was before the surgery and every day of the countdown (over a few years) to spine surgery increased my anxiety until I learned to take apart my fear and eat it one bite at a time. (I hope you are laughing now.) I learned a lot about why I had my fear from my past experiences and it was just my brain's way of trying to protect me from something that scared me. The amazing thing is that I deprogrammed my fear, and when that day came for spine surgery, I asked my surgeon to see me before hand so I could thank him for helping me. Gratitude goes a long way in preventing fear, and by that day, I was calm. I was given an opportunity to change my future, to regain the coordination in my arms so I could do what I loved which was creating paintings. The first painting after my surgery at 11 months into my recovery was a portrait of my surgeon and my gift to him. It was a goal I set for myself to be able to do that at a time when I didn't know how much coordination or strength and endurance I would get back after decompression of my spinal cord. Having that goal gave me something to work toward that helped in my recovery both physically and emotionally and it was a victory for the hard journey I had taken. https://newsnetwork.mayoclinic.org/discussion/using-the-art-of-medicine-to-overcome-fear-of-surgery/

You may want to look at this post, and the beginning of this discussion for my description of my strategy to overcome my fear, and to see my surgeon and the portrait.
https://connect.mayoclinic.org/comment/221703/
Recovery after major surgery is hard and it takes it's own sweet time. It's about 3 months for bone to begin fusing because it has to cover a lot of territory and to go boldly where there has been no bone before. Healing a set fracture is quicker because the bone pieces are touching and you don't need to grow bone into a fairly large space.

As a medical person, you've probably seen a lot of scary stuff, but that doesn't mean that it will happen to you. Doctors go through this too when an injury happens to their child and they know all of the ways that it could become worse, and doctors also reach out to their family and friends to get through it. As a patient, you have a super power with your mind. Set your mind on a path thinking about how well you are healing and visualize your future after your recovery, and ask yourself what steps can you take to advance your goal? Right now, your goal is to heal the incision and start growing bone, but start making some plans for what your next steps will be after you have completed this first goal.

You might like this discussion too.
Just Want to Talk - "How can I defeat my anxiety about medical tests and surgery?"
https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/how-can-i-defeat-my-anxiety-about-medical-tests-and-surgery/
It may help to write down some of your concerns, and then think about some creative solutions or ideas to work toward your goals or just to feel better about each day. Your thoughts?

Jennifer

Recovery is challenging but I’ve always loved a challenge! I’ve been struggling with the limitations I have now but look at everything in a different way. I used to be so athletic but now I love my iPad. I play scrabble with friends online, learn new things everyday, play menus (I love to cook now but usually my husband has to finish making the meals!) I sew, and am learning how to knit and crochet. Wildlife fascinates me, I made a pulleys so I can have bird feeders and buy peanuts for the squirrels and chipmunks. I’m growing my first sunflowers and walking more each day. I’m fighting depression again because of losing my little furry companion…I think I will plant some poppies for her

denman55, I've never gone through what you have, but, I am so sorry. I am praying for you right now for relief, encouragement and a speedy recovery. Blessings......

Hello! You’ve come to the correct blog for support for your several issues @