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Sexless Marriage (when one partner is ill)

Men's Health | Last Active: Dec 15 11:01am | Replies (196)

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@arctic22

Everyone's needs and wants in life are different at different times in our lives. Easy for people to sit back and judge without living our lives or being in our shoes. It's a fact that most woman's sexuality changes as they age as does a man just in a different way. We are in charge of our penis our whole life or so we think, and as we age it gets like an unruly teenager, stubborn and then we get angry at it. We still have the drive and desire but not a way of expressing it or reliving it. People are sexual creatures men for the most part more that women and I think that is by design. Another cruel trick is many women reach a sexual peak as men have passed that peak and are declining, which frustrates us as men. You can love your partner as much as ever but if the relationship has evolved to a one sided sexual relationship it can be damaging both mentally and physically. I think you should do what you need to that you can live with to make living with your partner you still love possible. I am in a similar situation with a partner who due to age, med's , physical issues, that our sexual relation once good as faded to an abyss. I do self pleasure and she is aware and gives me my space, but at times it fuels resentment which as time goes on gets stronger. There is no one size fits all answers for this complicated issue. If you factor in religion, society, (experts) on and on in the end the choice to make a move or not to is still yours. Good luck and the best to you.

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Replies to "Everyone's needs and wants in life are different at different times in our lives. Easy for..."

Thank you arctic. Yours are my sentiments as well. A cruel trick of nature
it is.
But I have received good advice from therapists who recommended books. I
might be mixing my books but I read Mindful Meditation and A Road (or Path)
Less Traveled. I received some faith based advice too.
One or more of those source or possible all of them in different words said
to pay more attention to the acts of selflessness that your spouse does
like picking out things she/he knows you like at the store when they are
out. They could have easily not thought of their spouse at all. Those acts
are demonstrations of love.
I am not saying that the advice was completely effective against thoughts
of sex. August is always the worst month for me because in the midwest it
is when we have the hottest weather and when the summer clothes come out. I
have to avert my eyes or I will catch a glimpse of a woman that I can’t
shake.