Everyone's needs and wants in life are different at different times in our lives. Easy for people to sit back and judge without living our lives or being in our shoes. It's a fact that most woman's sexuality changes as they age as does a man just in a different way. We are in charge of our penis our whole life or so we think, and as we age it gets like an unruly teenager, stubborn and then we get angry at it. We still have the drive and desire but not a way of expressing it or reliving it. People are sexual creatures men for the most part more that women and I think that is by design. Another cruel trick is many women reach a sexual peak as men have passed that peak and are declining, which frustrates us as men. You can love your partner as much as ever but if the relationship has evolved to a one sided sexual relationship it can be damaging both mentally and physically. I think you should do what you need to that you can live with to make living with your partner you still love possible. I am in a similar situation with a partner who due to age, med's , physical issues, that our sexual relation once good as faded to an abyss. I do self pleasure and she is aware and gives me my space, but at times it fuels resentment which as time goes on gets stronger. There is no one size fits all answers for this complicated issue. If you factor in religion, society, (experts) on and on in the end the choice to make a move or not to is still yours. Good luck and the best to you.