I honestly don’t know how you can get through to your husband at this point. His heels are dug in pretty deeply. Basically, he stopped taking the meds to treat his cancer, which were working, because ‘he didn’t like the way they made him feel.’ In fact he stopped taking all his meds and now he feels even worse. Maybe it wasn’t the meds making him feel that way🙃

You, my dear, are a saint for your patience in dealing with his level of stubbornness. You’re basically trying to help someone who doesn’t want to be helped. As life partners, this must be so hurtful that there isn’t more consideration for you in his decisions.
It’s understandable that he may feel this is all too stressful to talk about end of life decisions. I’ve been there and some of the questions that needed answers are were really tough!
But I knew the decisions I could make ahead of time would lessen the stress and burden for my husband and daughter. Death is inevitable for all of us. For loved ones left behind it’s generous and thoughtful that a dying person makes it as easy as possible for them to deal with the deceased’s ‘stuff’ and any last wishes for if they want to be scattered to the wind or who they want to be planted to for eternity. Cute story…Anytime my favorite Auntie went on vacation or long road trip, on her bed at home she’d leave the dress/shoes/jewelry she wanted to be buried in, her typed up obituary that she wrote so nothing about her life was missed in the news paper and the photo to go with the obit., along with bible verses and songs. Some of us live in denial, others face mortality head on.

I apologize for being blunt but being the youngest in my family, I’ve had to face many of these ‘end of life’ issues head on. I’d like you to be able to at last know what to expect if something does happen to your husband.
This is a fairly good article about how an estate is settled if there is no will. A will isn’t necessarily critical.
https://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/how-estate-settled-if-theres-32442.html
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This article from AARP is helpful for what to do immediately when someone passes. https://www.aarp.org/home-family/friends-family/info-2020/when-loved-one-dies-checklist.html

With your husband’s decisions already made, my thoughts turn to you for your future. Considering there are children from a previous marriage and an ex who are already circling, do you have an attorney you could contact to see what potentially lies ahead if your husband passes?

Hi @dgordillo, it’s been a while since we chatted. I’ve been concerned about you because of the situation with your husband’s declining health. I’m hoping that maybe he relented and decided to see a doctor after all. How has he been feeling? And how are you coping?