Preparing to Age in Place

One thing you can think about is selling dishes and furniture. There is a huge market for selling things that have alot of age.

We all have to make these decisions in our own time or not.
Does she want your help?

I have offered but she doesn't move on it! She just sits on her sofa....

I understand your concern but if she is saying no to you and there is no concern for her immediate safety then she has spoken. Now the question is how can you deal with your own discomfort.

_The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning_ by Margareta Magnusson may be worth a try.
The author is "between 80 and 100" and writes in a friendly grandmotherly style. It's not one of those "professional advice with checklists" sort of books. She's very patient and not a perfectionist.

And by the way!!!
I got a copy from the public library!
I've learned that I don't need to buy a copy of every new book that catches my attention.
The public library has a full system catalog on line, and will send a book to your local library.
[We just donated two cartons of books to the library used book store.]

I will just wait and see. If I can help her at some point, it would be nice but if not, I am still her friend!

She is lucky to have such a great friend. I worry that she could have depression and that may be a factor. Sometimes people may be reluctant to ask the question, "are you depressed."

I was lucky. My fancy dishes were minimalist from the 70's so they will never be "dated" - they split service for 24, and only live 3 miles apart so they can share for big gatherings

I am 85 and live with my son and this book sounds good...am ok for a downstairs bedroom and a downstairs shower...I have tons of stuff because as an artist I have collected stuff for projects, old paintings and stuff from my past life...I really don't want to waste my time going thru' and deciding to keep this or that and causing me unnecessary stress, cause you never know what can become part of a creation...as for my treasures from the past I like having them around as they are comforting...and bring good memories.My son can do what he likes with everything when I am no longer here. Every now and then I decide to give a piece of art work to a special person but that's all...my only rule is not to bring anything more into the house....but I am going to try and that Magusson book. No one should be forced to lose their memories because someone else thinks they should...have patience and be there to help when needed...sometimes taking photos of things might make it easier to let them go.

@ksdm -- You're absolutely right about many of our kids not wanting our "old family items" for several reasons... some don't have the room in their home for them; or they don't particularly like them ("not our style"); or they don't have a strong personal attachment to them (eg., my wife and I only rarely used the OFI -- dishes -- we inherited while our kids were growing up).

BUT I like to think that, whenever we end up donating our OFI to a reputable charity, some truly appreciative family of strangers may cherish the item's unique beauty / value, and respectfully receive them as a blessing from some other unknown, but caring family, from a prior era. (Am I getting too mushy here???).

/LarryG