Hi, @achatterjee I'm Scott and I'm glad you are here on Connect. I was my wife's caregiver during her 14+ year war with brain cancer and I can really relate to your concerns and feelings.

While I'm no medical professional, I can relate some of what I went through as a caregiver. First -- yep, there will be times when you are a mess! I sure was and still struggle with many 'hangover' issues.

This may sound silly but I did two things that helped me when I was feeling more overwhelmed than usual. First I gave myself permission to cry. Yes, I did it out of earshot of my wife, but I sure cried often and it did help me. Second, I kept an old pillow on our sofa, and when nothing else helped I'd spend time punching the heck out of it to relieve some of my frustrations over not being able to control so many aspects of my wife's illness.

One of the early discussions my wife had with me was that she was committed to picking treatments, medicines, doing things, or deciding not to do things, was going to be based on quality of life, not quantity. This became our mantra during her illness and it guided her decisions. For instance -- one example was when a second surgery was suggested. She analyzed the potential benefits and looked at all the potential side effects and possible negative outcomes. She decided it was not worth it and did not do the second surgery. It was not a popular decision with many of her family members but she stayed true to her quality not quantity decision and was at peace with her decision. This also helped me in discussions with my wife's physicians regarding not letting her be in any unnecessary pain. She wasn't always pain-free but we managed it better with her decision guiding all of us.

I hope this helps a little. Please feel free to ask any more questions and I'm sure others will chime in.

Strength, Courage, & Peace