A Month Later and I Feel Defeated

Posted by labgirl @labgirl, May 10 1:20pm

My husband of 45 years died on April 2nd

I don’t feel much of anything right now. I don’t care about what’s going on around me and am okay just observing life go on without participating.
I trust that this “blah” feeling will go away in time. In the meantime, I feel defeated…….I’ve lost and just want to be alone.
Not interested in “pick me up”suggestions or sympathy. Nothing will help right now. I’ve written this to see if others have this feeling of defeat.

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Loss & Grief Support Group.

windyshores | @windyshores | May 10 2:39pm

@labgirl so sorry. In my experience at least part of the first year we are numbed out while the world expects us to snap back.

If there is a local hospice they often have really good bereavement counselors. I had a good one who helped me know that what I was feeling (or not feeling) was normal.

thisismarilynb | @thisismarilynb | May 11 8:45am

I am still feeling this way and it has been 2-1/2 years. I cry in the morning because he is not there. I cry every Monday evening because it was his job to take out the trash and he is not here. I cry at night because I have one to say good night to. I also have anger issues. He died even though he was not dying. He fell twice when getting up at night to go to the bathroom. I got a walker and begged him to use it when he had to get up at night. He refused. The third time he fell he broke his femur. He only lasted 3 months after that. A lot of this is due to the rotten health care system we have in this country. Shortly I will be 90 years old. And I will be spending whatever time I have alone.