Wow, you two have a LOT more motivation and determination then I would have, And I applaud you for all of your really hard work!! And wish you the best of success!
I will share my journey, just one anecdote of many, and how I went from 165 pounds to a new setpoint of 110 pounds, over decades:
I have never found counting calories or measuring portance to work for me. I would always binge eat and gained it all back overtime. What has worked best for me has been gradually adding more and more healthy and delicious foods into my daily routine, which squeezes out the unhealthier foods.
First I became vegetarian, started eating big salads for dinner and about 3 pounds of broccoli a week and finding fun ways to add herbs and spices/fat-free dressings to keep it interesting. I also upped my exercise, and the combination helped me gradually drop from 165 to 140 as a new setpoint. (I also tend to go up and down 3 to 4 pounds, whatever I weigh.)
10 or more years later, I became vegan for ethical reasons, and just that change created a 10 pound weight loss without me even trying! (Of course, I was still eating mostly whole foods, as junk food vegans could eat peanut butter all day long…). Over the years, I upped my exercise and focused more on “breakfast like a queen, lunch like a worker and dinner like a pauper.” I try hard to follow Dr. Michael Gregor‘s plan of at least 12 servings of fruits and vegetables daily, including three or four large handfuls of leafy greens. I then lost another 10 pounds to 130 without trying!
When I was diagnosed with cancer five years ago, I made sure to include major aspects of the cancer diet, including half a cup per day of berries, particularly blueberries, of allium (onions, leeks, garlic, shallots), and mushrooms, and as many rainbow colors on my plate each meal as possible. Again, without counting calories or trying, I gradually lost another 10 pounds.
Finally, some friends who had gone to the True North Healing Center in Santa Rosa taught me about the SoS free diet: no salt, oil or sugar. Much has been written about why this is healthier for us, particularly the book The Pleasure Trap by Lyell and Goldhamer. This book explains how these three substances are super concentrated so our brains and the stretch receptors in our stomachs do not register them as food! This is why we can keep eating potato chips or cookies forever, even after we become full on “real food.”
This information has been a real game changer for me! I only lost another 10 pounds, and I stay around 110 now for the last six months no matter what I eat (within reason), but I feel much lighter and healthier than I ever have, with more energy for exercise, gardening, hikes with my dog in the woods and everything else I love. I rely heavily on Kathy Fisher’s Straight Up Food and Cher Ramos Bravo’s Bravo Express (both available on healthpromoting.com) as my two major SOS cookbooks to keep my food tasting yummy and satisfying

That’s my particular story. I know many people don’t love to cook or don’t have the time to do much of it, and need to find other strategies. When I don’t have time or don’t feel like cooking, my quick go to’s are kale apple banana ginger smoothie for breakfast, or oatmeal and fruit; rice/other grain and beans in my electric pressure cooker every three days for lunch, along with baked sweet potato and steamed greens; and a large colorful salad for dinner with a handful of raw unsalted and seeds or a yummy dressing. Then I don’t have to think too much or spend too much time with my food, but keep rotating greens and grains and dressings, and keep changing things up.
Sorry to be so long-winded! Best of luck to everyone on this challenging food/health journey!!