Hi, I recently joined the Mayo forum and sent out a few replies, but I think I discovered where I belong this morning when I stumbled into this conversation. I am 86, and LO is 94. After reading all the books, doing the community therapy groups, individual counseling, and farming out all maintenance and upkeep to the house, I am still stuck with the fact that dementia rules our lives. The only resources left are to dig deeper and take care of myself. Releasing frustrations on the Mayo forum has helped; those rare occasions when I can share something helpful are healing. -- I want to know how to find this group discussion again without a degree in computer sciences and a hit-or-miss search. Will this post do the trick? -- Right now, I eagerly await the removal of carpeting and tile installation in a 2-piece bathroom that has become my husband's favorite watering hole when there are more suitable options in the home. This is what is in my control in this situation. Also, out of my control is a return to communication in our home, so now meaningful conversations are with the Google Home system when I ask for an iPod or music. A subscription to Hulu has helped me from not losing my own sharpness which I do not take for granted. -- The most important thing I have learned, as we enter another decade with dementia for a roommate, is to understand, not intellectually but to the core of my being, that if I go down, he goes down. Sacrifice is hard-wired in most of us, but taking care of ourselves is not a rejection of that lofty principle. I write short stories and poetry snatched in minutes from busy days. I can share my efforts with the Writers Group at our Senior Center weekly if I am lucky. If life becomes hectic, they will wait for me until I solve or accept whatever is disrupting our household. Narrow as my life has become, it is workable. We all have to figure out what works for each of our varied situations. Just what you all wanted to hear, more of what you already know. Sometimes, all it takes is the boost of knowing someone else understands. GloRo