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At what point are you considered alone forever?
Just Want to Talk | Last Active: 1 day ago | Replies (72)Comment receiving replies
. I’m 66 now. But I knew at age 50 I’d be alone forever. After 2 bad marriages, and countless failed relationships, I’d had enough of trying to find someone. I can truly say I don’t believe I was ever loved as I should be.
Am I lonely, yes! But the thought of being vulnerable again scares me, and the idea of dealing with someone’s quirks , routine, social chitchat and general BS exhausts me .
Replies to ". I’m 66 now. But I knew at age 50 I’d be alone forever. After 2..."
Married. It has become this way for me. He wants to discuss current events a lot. Doom and gloom. Is a very good man. I love him. But sadly he cannot stop.
From your photo, it looks like you've got a good friend right there!
I get a lot of comfort and feelings of purpose from my cats. It's not everything, but it sure helps!
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@lizziel1 - I can totally relate! I know it's been a few months since you posted this, but I'm just reading through this thread for the first time, and just wanted to stop to say how much I understand!
I'm the same age as you, never married, though up until a few years ago always wanted marriage as my ultimate goal. I am in a 10-year relationship, living together for the past 4 years now. I do thrive more when I have someone to do things with, and feel "more calm" when there is an "us" when we're out & about - in a certain way - than if I were to be doing everything on my own (though I've lived on my own up to now nearly ALL of my life).
I guess it's kind of complex - for me, and I venture to say for all of us. Recently I'll say I've really questioned our relationship, as he doesn't "relate" in the way I need: not much eye contact, not hearing (more due to not paying attention, or increasingly slow response time, not as attentive to me affectionately, etc.). I'm not sure he wasn't always that way and it's just surfacing more, as he may be defaulting to his lifelong mode.
And I certainly ruminate on my contribution to this dynamic, as I have ruminated all my life, wondering why I cannot find the kind of deep, soulful connection I crave, while looking in every possible way for it. And, especially like you said so clearly: "I can truly say I don't believe I was ever loved as I should be".
Warm wishes on this journey. It really helps to have MCC here to share these experiences with others, lessening the alone-ness and sense of isolation when never finding the connection I/we crave.
Hugs. I hope you have many kinds of rewarding and heart-warming experiences along the way. I keep trying too!