My numbers up to 9: Told it was because I don't use it enough?!

Either a new doctor or a new wife. You decide

New doctor, without delay.
An elevated PSA can have causes other than prostate cancer, so first you need an MRI. Bypass the Joker and self refer to a urologist. You'll need a copy of your lab report. If he performed a digital exam, you can request a copy of his notes through his office staff.
If you tell us your city, someone here will know a good urologist in your area.

Many years ago there was speculative association about increased sex reducing prostate risk. That myth has long been dispelled.
I'm sure the doctor thought he was so funny. Don't give him another seething thought.

Stay with us here on connect, though because there is a lot of valuable experience here.

Time to find a new doctor--that ridiculous and flippant response to your concern about a PSA rise was inexcusable. There are many things that can cause a PSA flare, and you need to learn about and explore them with a caring and professional urologist. Rely on the people on this forum for support and information.

Your doctor is an AH. Have another doctor order "The 4Kscore Test". Simple blood test that will show the probably of prostate cancer..or, have a biospy of your prostate. The biospy is the route I would choose since it will tell you if you do or do not have prostate cancer. A good urologist can do the procedure in office. Results in a matter of days.

Good luck.

Start with a self referral to another urologist. Don't worry about hurting your guys feeling. This is about you.
Request your new guy get you a 3T Mri. It's important to get 3T for clarity. Don't let him talk you out of it. Even if you have to travel a bit, it's worth it. If the results are positive for cancer, have him do a biopsy. Make sure he knocks you out for it. If that comes back showing positive cores your next steps are get a second opinion from someplace like Johns Hopkins and do some research to find a real good medical/radiation oncologist. I traveled 4 hours to seem mine. Some guys go out of state to get the right guy. A PSMA should be ordered to see if any prostate cancer cells have left the prostate. And finally, a genetic test.
Now you have the tools to have a educated conversation with your oncologist. He may put you on an ADT, look up the pill Orgovyx as opposed to the Lupron injections, you decide. There's lot of options out there for prostate cancer treatment. Make sure you're comfortable with whatever decision you make. Ask questions, lots of questions of your doc. Then, get a second opinion.
Remember, most of us are on this site because we've been in your shoes. Come on back any time you need to for some conversation. Good Luck

The answer, yes...

As others have said, time to get answers in the form of clinical data that can inform decision making.

As others have said, a 3T MRI is a good starting point.

A DRE is another.

A MRI guided biopsy if the first two indicate prostate cancer.

Genetic testing for Germline or Somatic genetics.

A Decipher test.

Finally, imaging, preferably a PSMA PET such as Plarify, there are others.

Informed by that data, you can set consultations with urologists, radiologist, oncologists to discuss treatment options.

You likely will have time to do all this without the risk of your PCa (if that's what you have) getting out of control as for most, PCa can be "slow" growing, some studies say up to eight years before visible metastases.

Your age, any co-morbidities and personal preferences and priorities play into your decision making.

Post back as you decide what to do in terms of testing, results, what your medical team says, members of this forum can provide you their thoughts based on their experiences, literature searches...and point you to relevant articles to help you understand more about PCa, diagnosis, treatment...

Kevin

I am located in Tucson, AZ 85739
Thank you for any help you can give

misspeanut, so this guy looks good to me for the MRI 3T (thanks kujhawk) https://health.usnews.com/doctors/anthony-nazaroff-525008#patient-experience
I'm in California where you might well end up. I have limited experience with Mayo, 112 miles away, but they will agree to zoom appointments.
I'd say, MRI order first. The importance is sooner than later (You have time, but it's best for your mind that you find out asap.)
More informed answers will follow.

Mayo Scottsdale is driving distance from your location north of Tucson proper. Once you have results from some of the tests suggested above, you could ask for an appointment there.

Misspeanuts. Tucson is small but it has excellent medical facilities at TMC and the medical school ( I lived there many years ago for undergraduate and graduate school and my wife worked at TMC ) . If I lived there I would get my medical care there and perhaps seek a second opinion 150 miles north at Phoenix Mayo Clinic. A trip to Mayo is a day trip. I travel about that distance for my frequent treatments at UCLA and we make it an event by having a great meal after my appointment. Good luck. This is a journey that non of us wanted but it is best to make it as doable as possible.