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Keys to a Successful Doctor's Appointment
Visiting Mayo Clinic | Last Active: Oct 4 10:56am | Replies (57)Comment receiving replies
You are preaching to the choir on getting respect. I have had Fibromyalgia for more than 35 years and have dealt with way too many “it’s just in your head” mentality. I learned not to mention it at Mayo specifically as any mention would prompt a “would you like to talk to a psychiatrist?” question.
If I have a run of the mill legal or tax, etc. issue then sure, don’t have to do much. If I have a complex legal, tax, etc. issue, then I will put in the time/effort to speak in their language so there is zero confusion or misunderstanding. In the end, any misunderstanding is more likely to affect me than it is the attorney, accountant, etc.
If I put in the effort and fail, at least I tried. If I don’t put in the effort and fail, am I blameless in the failure? I am jaded enough to know doctors aren’t just waiting for me to walk in so they can put there hero cape on and save the day. They are overworked, stressed by the system, and have bad days just like the rest of us.
Replies to "You are preaching to the choir on getting respect. I have had Fibromyalgia for more than..."
That is exactly 100% correct/ my motto is to get involved in my care , when I go I'm armed with info to help them and myself.
Good point, @aaroncush. It's a relationship. By putting in the effort to develop a rapport with your doctor, at least you know that you held up your end of relationship. Clinician are overworked and stressed, and have bad days. With a good relationship, one can accept a bad day or two. And it's important to recognize when it's not a good fit and move on (if possible).
I'm sorry that you have had doctors who have not recognized fibromyalgia as real. It is a real and recognized condition, and hopefully more doctors will learn more about it. I recently attended a Mayo Clinic presentation with Dr. Mueller, the director of the Mayo's Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Clinic (https://www.mayoclinic.org/departments-centers/fibromyalgia-and-chronic-fatigue-clinic-minnesota/overview/ovc-20485870) and he underlined that this is a common story that they hear - that they haven't been heard or helped. The biggest challenge with fibro is that there isn't a definitive test to declare one has it. A thorough assessment is required.
I invite you to follow the new support group dedicated to fibro and join the discussions. Your 35 year experience managing the condition would be a welcome asset.
- Fibromyalgia Support Group https://connect.mayoclinic.org/group/fibromyalgia/
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Let me put it this way - what you’re saying is practical and is closer to reality in what people need to do. I’m saying that this isn’t how it “should be”. In my expectations (and knowledge of the system) they get paid well for all the stress that comes with the profession, and since they are not accountable to their patients, the power dynamic in the relationship is such that managing up to them isn’t likely to yield fruit in my opinion. However, I recognize that taking the little power we do have by figuring out how to talk to them makes us feel better, so I give you credit for taking that initiative. I’m in a different place and am too frustrated to be willing to manage up to them. I’m sure that will change as time goes on, but for now, I can’t give that to them.