A Train Wreck in Slow Motion

In an effort to give up some of my humility, I am here this evening to say that I officially feel like a train wreck. I just can't seem to catch a break, and it feels like just when I catch my breath something else comes along and throws me off the track; the on which I thought that remaining steadfast to others, I would "feel" better, but in reality I feel worse.
Today I learned that I have to have two MRI's at the end of the month. I was anticipating the MRI of my shoulder which I injured when I went into high gear gardening at my sister's last summer because the stress of being around her and her demented husband was insane. The constant yelling by my sister at her husband to use his walker, waiting for him to fall so she could make a decision to place him in a facility, which she has no intention of doing. I do not blame her. She learned this week he will soon be in a wheelchair, a result of a back injury that could be surgically repaired but for the dementia.
I had been hiding something from my doctor for the past several months, because as you know, I don't like to complain. However, a former doctor who is now a friend encouraged me to tell my PCP that I am experiencing increasing weakness in both of my legs, thus the MRI he ordered to day for my lumbar spine. Did I mention I just had one about 6 months ago?
I am in deep with staggering medical debt, trying to pay my bills tonight, realizing that I need to call some of these creditors and come up with a "plan." I realize many others are probably in the same boat. However, when I start thinking about how I am struggling financially, I am reminded of my then partner who took off with my retirement account and promptly ended our relationship. Yes, I am paying the IRS and Franchise tax the penalties each month, knowing that my debt will never be paid off because the interest accrues daily.
I have cried every day this week, talked to my psychologist and we discussed how I could better refocus and things of that nature, which I have been trying awfully hard to do. However, when I stop whatever it is that I am doing, all these horrible feelings come back.
THEN, while trying to be a friend to Carolyn, who as you know has dementia, I feel very frustrated by the entire situation that I tried so hard to repair. Yes, I stepped back from caregiving, but I still see her almost everyday. The woman who was the subject of a criminal investigation was ordered not to return to Carolyn"s or accept any money from her. But guess what, she is still coming over, taking money etc. It was all I could do not to scream at Carolyn this evening, and left quite abruptly after I prepared dinner for the two of us.
What gives? I am not sure I can do any of this anymore, as it is all so overwhelming all at the same time. That "yellow" warning light is going off in my brain constantly, and I keep telling myself, "just focus on the trip to the Immune Deficiency Foundation conference in Chicago in June" Then I can decide which direction to go, where to go and how to get there without a map.
I feel lost, alone. My friends ask me how I am, I tell them the truth, and the conversation/texting stops there. I realize that many do not have the emotional intelligence that we do, but my god, these are people I have known for decades, have been in love with etc. It is so disheartening, isn't it? And here I was thinking I was so strong and could handle all of this. But guess what, tonight I cannot.
Thank you for reading this