Thank you for your response. It is a she and I specifically asked her if she will ever feel more positive or hopeful as I remain undetectable and clear. She said no, because of the unpredictability of stage 4 prostate cancer. She the went into how she was initially worried about me during and after completing chemotherapy because my PSA started at 1.005 during chemo and ended at 0.234 and during chemo my PSA went up and down a few times. After chemo my PSA just continued to drop until I was undetectable. She said that small percent of men's PSA continues to drop after chemo and thank god mine did. She also said that over 50% of her patients have their PSA rise during chemo and they get worse. So I think she experiences a majority of tough cases and few successes like myself. My hope is she would be like the first Oncologist. She said while I cannot be cured, she can treat the illness like a chronic disease and that I would probably die of something else. But, she was not as good as my current Oncologist. My Life with Cancer NP is very positive and more hopeful for me as she says she sees many men in my state and that I seem to be different than most of her patients. She also provides more stats like 10-15% of men with stage 4 prostate cancer - the cancer never returns. It does not have to be an eventuality that the cancer comes back or I become castrate sensitive. I'm in a group of men that have prostate cancer, some at stage 1 and other stage 4. The stage 4 men are 7, 8, or longer with this disease. While I understand everyone with this cancer is different, I no longer feel like I have cancer so I am very hopeful.