Emotional health after cancer: How are you doing really?

Hang in there! I know its a Rollercoaster! I suggest you write down your questions. Keep a note pad close or start one in a notes app on your phone. I found at times I'd wake at night and think of things then ! Take someone either you whose tole is to ensure everything is snswered on the notes and to take notes on key things said in the appt. Sometimes when emotions or anxiety is high our cognition lowers and we think later " now what did they say about this"
Wishing you the absolute best care and healing

Thanks for sharing your feelings and insight. I understand exactly, what you mean. While the clinics are taking care of the physical, the emotional side is so important. 6 months for me and results coming this Thursday. I have no udea what they will be. I'm a 77 year old guy and keep everything inside. Be strong I was always told. 35 radiations and 5 chemos later, this body is broken and trying to get 30 pounds back. When I need hugs, all the time, I turn to adult kids, grandkids, spouse and friends and they are here at once, sharing their energy
Sending positive energy to you...lots of love.

I'm a control freak and don't want to be told what to do but I finally gave in to the experts. They do this every day and they are usually caring individuals. When I gave in to them, I was less stressed and in a better frame of mind. Waiting results after 6 months and 35 radiation in mouth. It gets betterslowly. Prayers and success for you.

@wlhickey, Your response made me laugh. "I'm great." When I fill out forms that ask me to rate my health from excellent to poor, I'm always stumped. Other than a note in my chart that says I have stage IV lung cancer my health is excellent. Today, I'm great.
I hope the roller coaster of emotions calms down a bit for you going forward. Everything that you are feeling is normal. Receiving more information soon should help too. Knowledge is power and helps to feel that you have some control over the situation, especially if you are presented with treatment options.
When is your next appointment? Are you seeing urology, or an oncologist?

I guess both, waiting on CT scan then schedule surgery, I'm getting 2nd opinion first....I love that, how is your health? Well.... let's see... questionable!

Omg! You just summed up alot of what I've been dealing with! I breakdown every time I go to my appts. Why? Because I'm scared of the unknown . Because every appt could be the one that rips the scale ! And it scares the shit out of me?! Yes I need a hug , because I don't have anyone but my self to hold me! And our Heavenly Father ! So how am I, scared...

@dani349, I promise you’re not alone here and I wish I could reach through the computer to wrap you in a huge hug to help calm you. And I’m a great hugger! So please take a slow, deep breath and then exhale even more slowly through your lips. I’ve got you.
I think most of us are scared of the unknown, especially when we get a diagnosis with the word cancer in it. I don’t know about you, but I’m unfortunately very good at telling myself stories. I can fill my brain with all the worst case scenarios and they just never come true! What a waste of time and energy!
So I’ve learned over the years to not let my mind wander into that negative self talk. Because those dark thoughts are “What If” thoughts. And they are just absolutely wasted time and stress inducers. So my approach is If/Then. If something happens, then I’ll deal with it head on. Or I ask myself, “What if everything turns out great?”. We have that ability to change the self talk, change the narrative in our heads.
I’ve looked back on your initial post to see that you’ve been diagnosed with CLL/SLL. Blood cancer is my area of experience so I’d like to respond to your post in that thread and hopefully offer you some reassuring information about your condition. Both are very slow to develop. From my understanding it’s typically curable or manageable with treatment and can go many years before it even progresses.

Please meet me over here: https://connect.mayoclinic.org/comment/1042622/

What are things that bring you joy every day, Dani?

@loribm thank you for your response ! Being at the beach in the sun and hearing the waves, listening to it rain. I'm gonna take your advice and try to think positive thoughts! I'm just so use to thinking negative not getting my hopes up that something good will happen ( childhood trauma) and when something good happens or I'm surprised at the result, I'm happy!! That way I don't get my hopes up ! And im now in the intermediate risk group per labs that I may need treatment between 1-5 years. But im gonna try. I like that thinking. Someone else in a post said they act like it never happened. I've started that also! Slow progress!

All of these comments have been so much of a relief for me to read. A carotid body paragangluoma was discovered on my carotid artery in my neck 3+ mos ago. I spent last wk at Mayo getting scans, pokes, consults. Having actually gotten to the point of being seen & eval'd at Mayo helped alot. All surgeons agree my neck tumor is small & benign. But, I had a full body scan while there, and a 5.1 cm mass was found on my left kidney, along w a 2+cm mass on the opposite side of same kidney. Have telehealth mtg this week w endocrine surgeon who ordered and found the kidney problem, then returning in 3 wks to an appt in the renal arena.
I have a large support group of friends and relatives, especially my husband and my siblings. You all are so right, that someday you want to hide and cry; someday you want hugs; generally when folks ask how you're doing, my response is, -ok', cuz the real answer is LONG. Everyone at Mayo was aware I was tense and stressed. A radiology tech asked how I'm really doing, and I said "weepy someday, scared everyday, it's so much. I feel weak for occasionally being such a crybaby." She told me crying is ok and all my emotions are normal; it's a tool the body uses to release anxiety." 2 days later, at my CT w contrast scan for the new kidney find, a tech asked me how I was really doing. I'm not an overly religious person, but I told them when I heard "benign benign, benign" from 3 surgeons, I said, "Thank you, Jesus" out loud. 🙂 He asked if I'd like him to pray with me; at this point I'll accept all I can get. His prayer words were heart-felt, and not long. Both my husband and I so felt the love at Mayo.
Thank you all for letting me know I'm normal to be crying sometimes. Hang in there, friends!

thanks so much to all of you, I know I'm not the only one but sure does help when you can read of others. I'm stage 4 prostate. I remind myself it's been 17 months and I'm still going forward. It just wears you down, my biggest side effect from meds is fatigue. I get it, it's better then the pain I had before starting treatment but doesn't mean that all is okay now. And yes, waiting for lab results each month gets your attention. I understand we need to fight through this every day and it's surely not an easy thing to do. I wish the best to all on this journey.