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That is a very good point. I always think he must hate me when I get irritated at him because he can’t remember or when I explain something to him that seems so simple to me and he doesn’t get it. I will say, “Do you understand what I said?” and he will say “No, but forget it.” If I press further, he gets upset. I need to learn to just leave it alone and not care if he “doesn’t get it”. That is so frustrating to me because I always want to understand what someone tells me and I feel like that is important to everyone - to understand. Even when I try to re-word or make it simple, he has a difficult time understanding. When that happens, I need to remind myself to stop with the explanations!
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First of all, hang in there and hang in here. Most of us can relate. I also get the mistrust of the medical system and I even have a hard time with the Alzheimers association. Right now I am feeling like they are looking for a new magical drug when there are over 120 different types of dementia and within each are many different sub illnesses. Regarding supplements, we are on many but all have been recommended by a professional either neuropsychologist or physician-not my husband's geriatrician or PCP-neither is up on any of the research on the supplements. Even so, we did have evaluations by a geriatrician who specializes in dementia and have had sleep studies, blood work and neurospsych evaluations. My husband has MCI-not sure of causation but could be mercury - he worked with it for years as a dentist. Also vascular-he has Raynaud's syndrome -cold hands and feet and the brain MRI (which is very important) showed normal aging 6 years ago and a year ago showed some ischemia in the brain.
All that from within the medical system.
I also want to add that my husband's PCP is a best friend and we are going to change to a new concierge physician within the year as I feel his friend is too close to the situation and gets too sad about it and can go into denial.
This is hard but I am savoring every moment and forgiving myself when I blow it at communication. I have said he doesn't remember when I am at my worst. Thank you for sharing.
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Hi, @tay1 Your post reminded me of something my wife’s neuro-oncologist told my family and me early on in her journey. He said we needed to always remember: “when the brain is broken, logic rarely works”. Remembering this over the years helped me let a lot of my wife’s questioning roll off my back often with just a ‘sure, honey’ or simply an ‘OK’.
It also helped me realize I needed to pick only battles that truly mattered.
Strength, Courage, & Peace