Husband diagnosed with tonsil cancer: looking for tips and support

I finished my 30 rounds of radiation in July. I hit my rock bottom about 2-3 weeks AFTER my last session. It has been about 9 months now and I can eat anything I want now. I say this to give him a reason to not give up. My first couple of months after radiation I have a very soft diet and boost milkshakes. Then pasta , soup, eggs, cottage cheese. The maybe 3rd month Pizza! Steak and potatoes about 5th month. My taste gradually came back through the process as well. Hang in there, Get moving, and Eat what you can to get stronger. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. Good luck !

He’s not even getting a 1000 calories, the dr said it’s ok right now, he will gradually as he gets better. He has no appetite and it’s hard to get food down. Drinking boost and aft foods.

I know you are worried. This will all take a while to get better. 1000 calories is good if he isn't active. I am sure food, if it tastes at all, doesn't taste good. 7-UP or milkshakes perhaps. He is most likely depressed and feels like crap. I had tea at the Ritz in London since I was in his shoes so life does get better.

I had stage 4 throat cancer 13 years ago now I have tonsil cancer .
I will need stomach feeding tube to gain weight to be able to endre radiation and chemo.
No worries mate . ENJOY EVERY DAY ...

until thin ....
kelso kelly

Hi @kelsokelly and welcome. So one visit to the cancer theme park wasn’t enough for you?
Feeding tube whilst no fun is something I highly recommend as well. If some issue comes to light during the treatment process, don’t hesitate to reach out.
What’s the treatment course and how far are you in to it?

@cris2 I certainly did not have the experience many had and am blessed for that. But it challenged me in my own way and still does 6 weeks after surgery. They told me I would most likely be on a tube if I didn't eat or drink. I put that in my mind as unacceptable and visualized doing it. And it worked. After that I just said that I have to do what I'm supposed to be doing and that is healing. Sometimes the sadness is overwhelming but I just have to get up and fight. A lot of times we don't recognize our caregivers. My wife is my angel and he sure is lucky to have you. That's a huge deal that we sometimes miss.

I do everything I can for him and I’m telling him he has to exercise now, we walk when we can, I keep reading him to drink, and keep pushing soft foods, sometimes he doesn’t want to do anything, makes me mad because that’s not him. I want my other husband back I tell him. He does thank me every day for all I do.

Hi all. I've just been diagnosed with stage three tosil cancer on Feb 22nd. 63 year old male. Have seen the surgical oncologist and the radiology oncologist, both present the pro's and con's of each, both sound terrible and my head is spinning. Both recommend there own procedure and essentially leave it up to me the patient to decide. I'm wondering if some of you in this discussion have had surgery then radiation, just radiation or combination?

Any input would be greatly appreciated 🙂 - John B

Hello @johnbonani John and welcome to the Head and Neck group. There are as many differing opinions both medical and patient as there are cases of head and neck cancer. A couple of big questions is where located, what type (such as Squamous Cell and sub type such as HPV16+) as well as how extensive for example stage 1. You have stage three which means it is either a large single spot or has invaded nearby areas.
We all try to avoid radiation if we can due to the after effects, particularly in head and neck. There are now drugs that can clear up remains after surgery for some sub types of SSC. Proton Radiation is far more accurate and less destructive to surrounding tissue and body parts. Its also more expensive (not at Mayo but at most centers) and it is usually only in one or two cities in any given state in the US. Photon is done everywhere. You would be surprised.
I can give you my opinion but your doctors would or should know best, provided they have your best interests at heart. Only you can determine that.
Let's see who else pops in here and by the way, you will get much better feedback if you open a Discussion of your own, which lights up on the screen of those who follow the Head and Neck group on connect. Nothing wrong with where you posted, just better results on your own discussion for future posts. It can be kind of complicated for us old guys.
If radiation is the answer, its a fight you can win. Just not a fight anyone would want to have. Courage.

Probably the hardest thing to deal with when we hear the "c" word is we will never be the same. Sure, we can beat it but I don't think it ever leaves our soul completely. Recently I've spent some time trying to visualize what our future looks like and sometimes that's very hard. My wife will try to snap me out of it and has to drag me around lol. One thing I live on is the fact that I know you can't grow without hardship. So I try to remain patient and wait for the day when I look back and see the beauty in something so tragic. I've always been a very strong person but this has really humbled me. One thing I don't have anymore is control and that's tough to deal with.
Anyway...I'm rambling.....just thought maybe sharing some of our struggles would help you relate. Caregivers share in these tragedies so they also need grace.