Friends choose each other: Meet @mir123

ROSEMARY: What brought you to Mayo Clinic Connect? 

@mir123: I came upon it while searching for information about my diagnosis—a rare neuroendocrine tumor of the breast.

ROSEMARY: What motivates you to take part in the community?

@mir123: Although I came upon the community by happenstance, I found it immediately helpful. It is both reassuring and educational to be among people in similar medical situations. Just the chance to converse is grounding. In my “regular” life my nearest and dearest are very supportive but have their limits in terms of talking about this. Mayo Clinic Connect is a great way to keep thinking about my health without burning other people out!

ROSEMARY: What about Mayo Clinic Connect makes you feel comfortable to share and to be open with the community?

@mir123: It is a safe space. The moderation is terrific. Being human, our opinions and feelings can flair, but the moderator and mentors create a sense of being heard and of being in a community. I’m not really on any other internet chat groups, in part because they always seemed too prone to arguing. At Mayo Clinic Connect, conversation isn’t allowed to deteriorate.

ROSEMARY: What groups do you participate in?

@mir123: I’m mostly on Breast Cancer and Neuroendocrine Tumors (NETs) support groups. I like to also take part in some of the discussions in the Just Want to Talk and Aging Well support groups.

ROSEMARY: Tell us about a meaningful moment on Mayo Clinic Connect.

@mir123: I’ll start with how I was helped, when I first began participating. I said something about my “eccentric” treatment choices (just that I was doing only 3 out of 4 treatments the doctors suggested) and I got a response about how it’s good to honor one’s body. I felt very affirmed. I later got a personal note from someone who was feeling alienated and unheard. I was able to appreciate what that person was doing, and give some suggestions about accepting help. Very much a pass-it-along situation.

ROSEMARY: What surprised you the most about Mayo Clinic Connect?

@mir123: I was surprised—delighted—by how accepting the tone is on Mayo Clinic Connect. It’s interesting to meet such a wide variety of people from different places and with different beliefs, all brought together.

ROSEMARY: What energizes you, or how do you find balance in your life?

@mir123: I write poetry and novels, work on collaborations with my visual artist daughter, walk, garden in season, hang out with my husband, meditate, attend a weekly interfaith group, listen to live music, play with my granddaughter, explore my city and surrounding mountains and nature. Oh, and I go to PT(physical therapy)! Doing a combo of these things every day (or every week) really keeps me going. I like all of it and it is varied.

ROSEMARY: Tell us about your favorite pastime or activity.

@mir123: Despite my active sounding list in the last answer, I live to read. I can devour a “difficult” Russian novel or a swashbuckling Swords & Sorcery series or a tale of Viking travels with equal zest. I find reading soothing but I never zone out (a danger for me with too much Netflix!). My mom was many things, had four children and worked. But when I remember her, it is with a book in her hand, not a spatula in the kitchen! I’m much the same.

ROSEMARY: What do you appreciate the most in your friends?

@mir123: I guess what I appreciate most is simply that they are in my life. I’ve always loved friendship, as it seems like a pure kind of relationship, without the obligations of family. Friends just choose each other, and then decide on the level of closeness. I have a best friend who is the most accepting person I know. I can tell her anything. Other friends I appreciate for being fun and witty and curious. They introduce me to new things. They all care about me, as I do them.

ROSEMARY: Puppies or kittens?

@mir123: Well, I’m a cat person, but I’m going to say puppies. I’m grandmother to three dogs, which introduced me to canine charms. So puppies because not only are they adorable but they really want to learn and be part of the group. But then I’m switching back to cats in terms of who I like to live with. To be liked by a cat is an honor indeed!

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