We do get Meals on Wheels. They have been coming so long we know all those lovely people by name. I have always been and luckily continue to be a problem solver. Taking care of small details often proves the gateway to tackling what seems insurmountable. Also, having stumbled into using IT by necessity. makes our lives easier and richer. In a conversation yesterday, while talking to the doctor who has shepherded me through depression, I noted that even though we are 'older than dirt', I do not have to leave the house to earn a living. Who knew that spending all the money used on fun, that now pays for colostomy supplies, incontinent products and medical appointments would turn out to be a positive. If there is one thing my dear boy and I share is a good sense of humor. Even when it wears thin, I am amazed at its resilience. Another thing, I have put into play is sharing our situation with everyone in the family, most of whom live in other states. I have impressed them that having an 86-year-old caregiver for their father has shortcomings. Better to have everyone thinking of a new reality if I falter. I have found avoidance and illusion comes with this situation for those who are not directly involved in the day to day care. Thank you so much for your response. I get a great deal of benefit from this internet forum. When sitting in a room discussing things face to face, I have often been overwhelmed by what others are called upon to handle and exhausted by my desire to give solutions. It would be fine for a younger me, but at my age, it is draining. There is only so much in the tank and my focus is now selfishly myself first and my dear husband secondly. Right now, it is a strategy that gives us both the best life possible. When it changes, hopefully, I can come up with something new. gloro