For those of us without family - Who will take care of you ?

Posted by ginger123 @ginger123, Feb 18 9:28am

As I age, not having children or close family, I’m beginning to ask myself who will see to my care, when I can no longer take care of myself. And, who should I name in my Will to be executor….. I don’t want to burden friends, as I have a complicated estate. And friends my age have their own challenges..

I’m fortunate to have financial resources, but no children or close family. I’d like to get things in order while I’m still healthy. May I have your ideas?

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joanland | @joanland | Feb 22 11:51am

In reply to @notmoff "Interesting there is no chapter in the US. Anything similar?" + (show)

Oregon has Death with Dignity. Two medical doctors must agree that the person is within 6 months of death and is also mentally competent (to make the decision). Google it to find out the details. I think there are a few additional states that have similar laws.

vlharvey | @vlharvey | Feb 22 2:08pm

I don't have a solution for you, but I'm touched by your question, and understand there are many of us facing similar situations.

pvctom2021 | @pvctom2021 | Feb 22 4:08pm

Hello to all,

I am finishing up my walk at the mall.. I am grateful to still be able to do that..the reactions and support that comes from the people here is a blessing…my morning anxiety still happens immediately upon becoming conscious…and a new day ahead..I still have my music interest, movies and my favorite reads…mostly, I still have my wife, who is more than my better half…I hope to take it one more day at a time…I heard a guy say once that”worrying is like sitting in a rocking chair, it gives you something to do, but it gets you nowhere”…If I could only remember that saying first thing in the morning.. I hope a good day for all who come here…it’s good here..🙏 pvctom

degarden_girl | @degarden_girl | Feb 23 8:50am

If you have no one you are comfortable appointing as executor of your estate, you might wish to talk to your lawyer as they do step in to handle such things, for a fee of course. But before doing that you might want to ask your closest relatives if this is something they would be interested in doing as there is a percentage of the estate that is paid to the executor. You can also simplify end of life issues by bequeathing bank accounts or brokerage accounts to specific people. I think your best bet would be to talk to your estate lawyer about what options are available to you. I wish you good luck with all of this. I'm 79 and my husband is 82 so we know exactly what you are struggling with.

Donna

ravenh | @ravenh | Feb 23 9:53am

In reply to @pvctom2021 "Hello to all, I am finishing up my walk at the mall.. I am grateful to..." + (show)

God Bless

gussie | @gussie | Feb 23 10:46am

In reply to @joanland "Oregon has Death with Dignity. Two medical doctors must agree that the person is within 6..." + (show)

Yes, I'm in California, and we have that law now also

ginger123 | @ginger123 | Feb 23 11:01am

In reply to @degarden_girl "If you have no one you are comfortable appointing as executor of your estate, you might..." + (show)

Thanks you. I hadn’t thought of bequeathing bank accounts. That would make meeting immediate expenses much easier.

bunnybear | @bunnybear | Feb 23 11:17am

In reply to @ginger123 "Thanks you. I hadn’t thought of bequeathing bank accounts. That would make meeting immediate expenses much..." + (show)

@ginger123 You can just ask at your bank to add a POD (pay on death) beneficiary. Then the bank will pay the proceeds of your account, safe deposit box and/or other assets to that person or person(s). If a safe deposit box, be sure to leave notice of where the key is!

thisismarilynb | @thisismarilynb | Feb 23 11:57am

In reply to @degarden_girl "If you have no one you are comfortable appointing as executor of your estate, you might..." + (show)

It is really not ethical for your attorney to be your executor. For the last 23 years before my retirement I worked for a probate/trust attorney. This is something she would never do. In my case, she prepared the trust for my husband and me. Everything we wanted was set out in the trust. Over the years some things change and she always advised her clients to go over their trust once a year to make sure it still met their needs. Now my husband is dead and I am the sole trustee. I have made some significant changes, but since she did it I know they are all ethical and within the law.

beryl2 | @beryl2 | Feb 23 12:25pm

In reply to @thisismarilynb "It is really not ethical for your attorney to be your executor. For the last 23..." + (show)

For ginger123
We have a 90 year old friend unmarried and no children who got to know her young financial advisor and his wife before she needed help. She asked him to become her executor and since then he has helped her through rehab and then with caregivers at home. She held a good job in the OMB is still mentally fine but has mobility issues and macular degeneration. Whether she pays him for his help (he and his wife have become good friends) I don’t know (I presume so). She has a group if friends that visit and the daily caregivers take her grocery shopping but he is available whenever a big decision needs to be made.