For those of us without family - Who will take care of you ?

Posted by ginger123 @ginger123, Feb 18 9:28am

As I age, not having children or close family, I’m beginning to ask myself who will see to my care, when I can no longer take care of myself. And, who should I name in my Will to be executor….. I don’t want to burden friends, as I have a complicated estate. And friends my age have their own challenges..

I’m fortunate to have financial resources, but no children or close family. I’d like to get things in order while I’m still healthy. May I have your ideas?

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Aging Well Support Group.

gravity3 | @gravity3 | Feb 21 11:20am

In reply to @notmoff "Interesting there is no chapter in the US. Anything similar?" + (show)

Sadly there is nothing like it here.
There is the hemlock society which is quite a different animal. There is Death With Dignity in a number of states but I believe you still have be a hospice patient already. Just to be clear to become a hospice patient a doctor must confirm that you have six months or less to live. Hospice is comfort care and pain management. Hospice gives no "curative" care.

jip499 | @jip499 | Feb 21 11:48am

In reply to @catstx "This maybe blunt and not the forum, but here goes. I’m a believer in being the..." + (show)

I also want control of when I die. I hope by then I will not have to go to Switzerland, will be able to do it in US.
Until then though I have to care for myself as I get older and need increasing amount of care.

But I do have the resources to hire people. Finding good people, though, will be the challenge.

jip499 | @jip499 | Feb 21 11:49am

In reply to @notmoff "Interesting there is no chapter in the US. Anything similar?" + (show)

Compassion and Choices with end of life choices.

pvctom2021 | @pvctom2021 | Feb 21 3:40pm

Hello to all

I am finishing up my walk and have attained my goal in steps up to now.. this morning my early anxiety terrors were present but fortunately they subsided once I got moving.. I still get comfort out of having a forum to share my experiences with … this nagging problem that started with regularity several months ago…I do take a small dose of klonopin at night and I feel like it has helped.. I am scheduled to see my new dermatologist on the 9th of April and hopefully he can help this new Basil cell nodule on my left forehead..as for the fear and anxiety, the less I think or project a scenario or idea of some awful situation, and get busy with a music track recording or watch a cool sci-fi from the 50’s, or even go to one of my all time favorite read treats, “Curious George, the original 7 books “ with those precious illustrations, the better I will be…hope all who are here have a nice day and nicer night..
🙏 pvctom

mabfp3 | @mabfp3 | Feb 21 4:34pm

In reply to @ruthblaze "I do all the thing you do from the comfort of my home of 40 years...." + (show)

I totally agree with you! Staying in your own home for as long as you can and paying for services as the need arises is the best solution for aging in place!

mabfp3 | @mabfp3 | Feb 21 4:42pm

In reply to @pvctom2021 "Hello to all I am finishing up my walk and have attained my goal in steps..." + (show)

Try not to worry about a basal cell. I was a lifeguard for eight summers in the late 60’s, early 70’s. My husband was too. The both of us have had many basal cells due to that sun exposure. They can be removed completely, usually using a procedure called “MOHS Surgery”. Just an office procedure where they remove it and look under the microscope to make sure that they got it all. They will put a few stitches in it and you return in three weeks for the stitches to be removed. (Sometimes, they put in stitches that just dissolve). Try not to worry. Mary Ann from MA

catstx | @catstx | Feb 21 5:49pm

In reply to @notmoff "Interesting there is no chapter in the US. Anything similar?" + (show)

Not that I’m aware of

pvctom2021 | @pvctom2021 | Feb 21 5:50pm

In reply to @mabfp3 "Try not to worry about a basal cell. I was a lifeguard for eight summers in..." + (show)

Thank you,

Mary Ann for your comforting reply…I’ve had a previous Mohs on my forehead that was an aggressive large tumor where they left a nice white scar 2 inches from the top of my hairline down, then another Mohs on the right ear tip where cartilage had to be replaced to fill in the reconstruction of the ear..so I’m hoping it’s not going to be like the other two…in any event may I thank you for your kindness in making me feel less worried..and reading your words, you have done that…thank you… a nice 😊 place to be..Connect….🙏 pvctom

mabfp3 | @mabfp3 | Feb 21 8:25pm

In reply to @pvctom2021 "Thank you, Mary Ann for your comforting reply…I’ve had a previous Mohs on my forehead that..." + (show)

I am glad that I have been of some help to you. You have been through Mohs twice, so you know how it goes! I have had three or four basal cells on my upper chest and two or three on my nose. I have also had them on my shoulders and on my back. They were all removed using MOHS. I think that I must be one of their best customers!!! Each time one of them has been removed, I have felt so good that it was gone. None of them have ever come back. I have also had squamous cell skin cancer in several places, which is considered a little worse than basal cells. I also had MOHS for them. I live in a suburb of Boston MA so I have now become a patient of Mass General Hospital Dermatology because I want to be sure that they catch everything. I have had one visit with them and they were wonderful, so my husband and I will have a follow up app’t in March. I will stay with them and see this dr every six months for a skin check. I feel certain that you will be fine when they remove your current basal cell. From what I have been told, the basal cells are very slow growing and do not spread. They remove them so that they will not invade tissues below them. I will keep you in my prayers. Keep me posted. I have a very good feeling that all will go well. Mary Ann in MA