For those of us without family - Who will take care of you ?

Posted by ginger123 @ginger123, Feb 18 9:28am

As I age, not having children or close family, I’m beginning to ask myself who will see to my care, when I can no longer take care of myself. And, who should I name in my Will to be executor….. I don’t want to burden friends, as I have a complicated estate. And friends my age have their own challenges..

I’m fortunate to have financial resources, but no children or close family. I’d like to get things in order while I’m still healthy. May I have your ideas?

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Aging Well Support Group.

pvctom2021 | @pvctom2021 | Feb 19 12:25pm

Hello to all

I am ready to shake off the morning fears that I woke with..
I am finished with morning hours, mainly dusting, grateful for this forum and it’s members and mentors for their advice and
support…the nightmare I had last night was concerning a bill from a place that I have not been to since the early 70’s.. it was a weird dream…the bill as stated was “weeks, weeks and weeks” overdue…it was from a not sure service located in the
Empire State Bldg…it took me a few minutes to realize that it was just a dream…well, I got up and just started the day, about 3 hours sooner than I wanted to..
I have been following this thread on ‘those of us without children who’ll take care of you’ and I too could overwhelm myself with worry if I let that one grab hold, and yet it can’t be ignored…we are financially ok but I’ve seen people younger than us, really financially hurt by the long term
care and other plans .. I am just going to try and stay in touch with Connect, and the local agencies for the aging..and try to do the things that I like to do…I will head to the mall for my walk…7-8 K steps daily my goal..
then stop into Guitar Center and order a rhythm percussion machine for my background beat .. I love to do a lengthy jam track nightly and wish you all a good day and night…. I watched a wonderful interview with Vincent Price on YouTube on the Day at Night program from 1973.
It was fascinating and charming…I met Vincent and talked with him briefly in 1982 after his one man show ‘Diversions and Delights ‘ at the Ford’s theatre…it was so memorable for me…🙏 pvctom

Nemo1 | @nemo1 | Feb 19 3:12pm

In reply to @joanland "Sorry, but can you tell me what an hcp is? Thanks." + (show)

I’m so sorry. Health Care Proxy.

dbamos1945 | @dbamos1945 | Feb 19 10:43pm

Ginger123: Many of us face this challenge as we age. My husband and I chose a Continuing Care Retirement Community (CCRC) facility in a nearby town. CCRC communities offer Lifetime Guaranteed Care for our lifetime! We have an Assisted Care and Skilled Nursing unit on our campus and will receive a 25% monthly discount when we feel the need for this type of care. Until then we live in luxury independently in our own apartment. Dining, weekly housekeeping, many varied activities (dances, lectures, art and craft classes, pool, shuffleboard, daily exercise (water, yoga, strength; as well as a newly furnished Fitness Gym) and Bus trips, free local transportation all included. Our monthly rent is reasonable and the management excellent. This solution to aging is a god-send… less stress, no maintenance, varied amenities, and all our needs met by caring professionals. If you live in SoCal I would be proud to show you our home. If not, Research CCRC retirement communities around the area where you reside.
Our decision to make this move over 8 years ago is one of our best.

ginger123 | @ginger123 | Feb 20 9:25am

In reply to @dbamos1945 "Ginger123: Many of us face this challenge as we age. My husband and I chose a..." + (show)

Thanks for your comments. We are in the PNW, and I’m very familiar with the continuing care communities near us. Many friends have moved there from our neighborhood. The buy-in fee is a min. Of $500,000, monthly rents are $6,000 in addition to the buy-in. While it is a lovely place to live, with spacious apartments, when things don’t go right, options to relocate are limited to non existent.

ruthblaze | @ruthblaze | Feb 20 11:55am

If you are well enough take a world cruise and leave the rest to Saint Jude children’s hospital and Doctors Without Borders. I wish you well

ruthblaze | @ruthblaze | Feb 20 12:01pm

In reply to @dbamos1945 "Ginger123: Many of us face this challenge as we age. My husband and I chose a..." + (show)

I do all the thing you do from the comfort of my home of 40 years. When the time comes I hope to pay for needed services and not have tone in any kind of nursing or senior homes. I love seeing children daily and being with people of all ages I’m old but I’ve no wish to.go to senior centers or being around old people all the time

ginger123 | @ginger123 | Feb 20 12:34pm

In reply to @ruthblaze "I do all the thing you do from the comfort of my home of 40 years...." + (show)

I couldn’t agree more!

dbamos1945 | @dbamos1945 | Feb 20 1:16pm

In reply to @ruthblaze "I do all the thing you do from the comfort of my home of 40 years...." + (show)

@ginger123:
I am glad you are so content with your housing situation. I agree it is important to be able to interact with people of all ages - many of us emotionally “adopt”some of our Dining servers and housekeepers and appreciate them.
Good health and peace of mind to you in this aging challenge.

catstx | @catstx | Feb 20 11:57pm

This maybe blunt and not the forum, but here goes. I’m a believer in being the one to control when I die. I found Exit International and they have lots of good info on death and dying. Once I’m no longer able to take care of myself, I’m going to Switzerland where there are several places that provide for self-facilitated easy death. I wish everyone on this forum the best for your aging.