Lost Trying to Exist

Hello 💚.
Diagnosed with major clinical depression and generalized anxiety pre-covid, now social anxiety trying to relate.
Trapped two years of covid isolation living alone, with a powertripping roof banger day and night giving me at least two anxiety attacks a day with a bleeding stomach.
That is over 1700 anxiety attacks.
This lost me my social abilities. I have since been sitting in my social group unable to relate like a dummy. The words and actions for interpersonal communication simply will not come out of my mind like they have all my life. It is destroying me from the inside out.
I am at a loss what to do next. If anyone has any suggestions please do not worry about hurting me because none can anymore.
Please reply if you can think of anything.
Best of health 🧡.

Hi, I feel your pain. My son and I are both bipolar and he will not take medication. I do because I never want to be
in the dark hole again. We both handle social anxiety by isolating. He lives in LA and I live in Northern California. He calls almost every day just to “check in”, he raises his endorphins buy hiking or working out for an hour and a half each day and mostly vegetarian diet. Hopefully you are coping with the help of a GOOD doctor and counselor. There are caring people out there who can help

Hi dear 💚 lady,

Thank you for the good wishes.
Yes, I too am isolating now for social anxiety, but it is driving me bananas. It is surely not good for a person to be alone, though having family allows us some outside help when needed.
I have a half-decent doctor only am losing my counselor. No one will be left to talk to. A predicament afforded the poor. That is a whole lesson on socio-economics !

Make a 🧡 great day.

Hi 🧡 all,

I did not see the social implications of my last line about kidd gloves, sorry !

What I meant was please do not hold back, I can take it, if that is acceptable 🙂.

Thank you.

Yes, I am human too…with a long list of medical diagnosis. After 30 good years of marriage and (47 total) I have become dependent on him and hate it…nerve damage is the worst thing…compromised immune system, lymphoma survivor, degenerative joint disease, arthritis.
I was very competitive in tennis, snow skiing and golf. Hill climbing on snowmobiles is not going to happen. Tennis is OUT. Might be able to play golf this year but most likely yoga classes and physical therapy will be the only things that will get me out of the house.
Presently I’m struggling with a broken bone in my foot because I sprained a tendon, 6 more months of recovery. I’m not much fun to be around. But hopefully I will be again soon

How awful for you! That must be terrible! I have only one suggestion and that is what I always turn to when things look bad and that is prayer. Just talk to God like a good friend and he is! Tell him your problems and ask for his help. It does state in the Bible to "Ask and it shall be given to you." Then, have faith and wait for the answers.

Prayer does work. I remember a time when we had very little food and no money. I turned to God in prayer and faith. We got an unexpected check in the mail! Answers to prayer may not always come fast but just keep praying and your prayers will be answered.

I will remember you in my prayers too.
PML

xpax, I am so sorry. I know this sounds beyond difficult, but, try and be around others when you can, even if you have nothing to give. You need the social activity. COVID can cause alot of things with a lot of people. Everyone reacts differently to COVID....some have anxiety and depression with it. Try and keep your mind busy on other things like reading, a crossword puzzle, etc., Praying for you right now. I care. Keep me posted.

I am sorry. I can identify with you after having lifelong anxiety / depression. There are some conditions that we inherit that can cause it. Do you know your cholesterol readings, especially your LDL? Very low LDL can cause anxiety / depression (per Mayo Clinic).

I learned this a couple years ago and have been taking Omega 3 fish oil daily and have been doing better. LDL is always referred to as "bad", but we do need a certain level to keep us in balance. The psychatrists in Australia recognize the problems of low LDL, but not in the states.
It is a condition that needs to get into balance, so keep a focus for a solution. Try some light exercise when you can, especially outdoors if possible. Short walks in nature can help. Also, try challenging puzzles, reading a good book or doing a hobby as a mental break. Most of all, remember you are a good person and it will get better.

Thanks 💖 PML,

"The earnest, fervent prayer of a righteous person availeth much."
I do not know about righteous, yet you said I was a good person. 😪 Nobody has given me a compliment that can be recalled since I do not know when.
Thank you !
Most of we who really suffer would not put that on anyone else. The rest powertrip their pain onto others which I have suffered more than enough of.

Prayer, I know it works, but maybe my faith has diminished. Things are tougher than could ever be dreamed of, for myself. It feels like I simply do not deserve it. How can I, for such impossibilities worse than this have to hit me...

71 YO housebound female here on episode 3 of Long COVID. I started using the Calm meditation app on my cell phone for the 'sleep stories' over a year ago to get me thru the 3am hour. Now do one or two 10 minutes meditations daily. There are a variety of easy meditation apps available.
Altho it took several phone calls to get access, I also now have a weekly telehealth session with a medical social worker. Being able to process thru my thoughts regularly has really been helpful.