@hotchick35, I appreciate your taking the time to update the group in your time of grief and pain. It's hard to lose a parent. Be kind to yourself.

If you need support for you, please know that hospice programs often have bereavement support groups for family members, whether you used hospice before or not. Also, here on Mayo Clinic Connect, there is a support group for you too. Now or whenever you might need to connect.
- Loss & Grief support group https://connect.mayoclinic.org/group/loss-grief/

Hugs.