Questioning Possible Bipolar 2 Diagnosis

This is my first post, but I feel I need to share somewhere and find someone with similar experiences. So some background first:

I have had anxiety most of my life with some occasional minor depressive episodes. I never had therapy as a child or teen, but have struggled with anxiety and irritability. I would be considered "high functioning" as I can hide my distress very well and appear successful. I am very much a perfectionist and have high expectations of myself.

After the birth of my first child, I had some increased depression, but it was manageable. After the birth of my second child, the depression and anxiety were awful and got much worse. (My kids are teens now) I had days where all I could do was sit on the kitchen floor and cry, and days when I felt really good, but anxious and irritable. I started seeing a therapist and a psychiatrist and tried various medications (benzos, antidepressants, antipsychotics, mood stabilizers). I started having visual hallucinations, significant suicidal thoughts and reached a point where I was hospitalized for a week. I was diagnosed with many things, but the diagnosis that seemed to "stick" was Bipolar 2.

I went through a period of acceptance, but then fought and questioned the diagnosis (my therapist questioned it as well, but my psychiatrist supported the diagnosis). After a couple of years, I was fed up with the medications, which I thought made me feel worse. I weaned myself off of everything, but continued to see my therapist for a while. When I started feeling better, I stopped seeing the therapist regularly - just periodically if I was having a hard time. My spouse and I decided that the Bipolar 2 diagnosis was wrong and I just had major depression with anxiety and a mixed mood episode. I went for 10+ years without medication, with only periodic visits to a therapist, and feeling generally good. My anxiety and irritability was always present, but felt manageable. I would have some "down" periods, but I again felt it was manageable.

About 8 months ago, I had a traumatic accident that required two surgeries and ongoing recovery. I have had some PTSD-like symptoms since then, my anxiety and irritabilty have gone through the roof with significant panic attacks, and I have had some major depressive episodes. I finally started seeing a therapist again about a month ago and was referred to the psychiatrist for an assessment and medication recommendations. After describing my history (without mentioning the previous bipolar 2 diagnosis), the first thing the psychiatrist asked me was if I had ever been diagnosed with bipolar 2! I am helping the psychiatrist obtain records from my previous psychiatrist and hospitalization, so she can make a more accurate and informed diagnosis. The plan for now is to medicate the anxiety with Buspar, but hold on the depression - the psychiatrist doesn't want to risk an antidepressant without a mood stabilizer if she believes the bipolar 2 diagnosis is accurate.

My spouse doesn't think I have bipolar disorder, but he says if I do - who cares - I am still the same person I always have been. I know that he is right, but this situation has floored me. I just assumed that if I was functioning without medication for so long that it meant I don't have bipolar 2 disorder, but the psychiatrist went straight to bipolar 2 and it freaked me out a bit.

I know in my heart it is just data - information to help me understand and better care for myself. Regardless of the ultimate diagnosis, it doesn't define me (I'm trying to convince myself here). I need to talk to someone outside of my spouse, but I don't trust this information with friends or family - at least not yet. I guess what I am looking for is 1) Confirmation that this presentation of bipolar 2 is possible (I know it is a spectrum) or opinions that it might be something else, 2) Knowledge that others have experienced something similar, and 3) Support.

If you got this far reading - thank you. I know it is a lot. 🙂