Apprehensive, and asking for your advice pre RP

robotic surgery is usually 1 day overnight at the hospital and a fast recovery at home. You can tell your family that the surgery requires1-2 nights in the hospital and then home. The surgery is not life threatening and you can tell family that. Good luck!!

I guess I really don't have a lot of advice to share, but want you to know that you're in the right place to connect with wonderful, caring people on this forum! Learning of my husband's prostate cancer certainly was overwhelming at first, so your emotions are very understandable. (It's still somewhat overwhelming, even after having had some time to process this news and learning about the disease and treatment options!)

And, yes, reading posts and connecting here with people who are also living with this diagnosis has been incredibly helpful! We've read and watched videos from some reputable sites. We've found that learning more about prostate cancer has helped us feel more confident. We initially decided on radiation but recently changed our minds, because of identifying rationales that we now feel make radical prostatectomy the right choice for Jim. His surgery is on our calendar for February 26. So, now it's just the wait (and Jim doing his Kegel exercises)!

All the best to you!

Thanks very much for your response.

Thanks so much for your insight, all the best to you and Jim.

In reading your post I tried to go back to my feelings during my diagnosis, surgery, post surgery, etc.. It was absolutely an overwhelming process for me. My surgery was a few months out and it took me about a month or so to get to the grit your teeth mode (as I call it) and look at it like any other unpleasant thing you have to get through to get to the other side. I thinking of things like, boot camp, the police academy, difficult physical trainings etc..

I don't think I could have gotten there in 8 days. Hopefully you will be able to do that. The treatment has to be done, we all know that, after the healing things will be better on the other side. However, never likely quite the same. Like anything else it's a matter of perspective, looking at it from your side, it's of course very daunting. From the other side of the treatment you'll likely feel like the time with the cath and initial healing went pretty quickly. At least I did.

The first weeks after surgery there seems to be quite a range of reactions from folks here. In my case, having never had a catheter, it was weird and a little scary for the first couple days. Oddly enough, I got used to it pretty quickly. By the time they removed it, it was just a nuisance, again from the "glad that's over" when they take it out, you'll realize it wasn't all that horrible. Just follow the teams directions and stay in touch with them if you see feel anything you don't like or understand. I had a little dried blood come through that kind of freaked me out. It was normal it turns out. I suggest that you ask anyway though for the peace of mind. I sent some pretty weird photos through the medical portal....just sayin'.

I stayed home about two or three days as I remember, then started walking around the block and on from that to normal going about. I had a smallish leg bag that I could switch out for the big one you carry around. Within 4-5 days I was going about my business, stores, visiting friends etc.. Just slower and less than usual.

Post catheter, I was incontinent for the first weeks, mostly stress incontinence. I was okay unless I sneezed, coughed, laughed, bent over too quickly..., I had to be near a bathroom though and I wore smallish pads if I thought I'd be in a situation where I might not have a bathroom option. I did kegels like a maniac. Many here will suggest you try to get your med team to prescribe specialized PT for this. I wish I had done that, it'd given me the confidence that I was doing them correctly.

It took me about a month or so before the docs would clear me to the gym again, they are very concerned about the patients causing hernias by trying too much too quickly. I could workout pretty well initially just has to use the restroom a couple times during the sessions. The one thing I did have trouble getting back to was running, that one took a couple/few months as I remember, it turns out, it's a bit of a continence test for me. LOL

I also recall how the healing process is continual but slow for about a year or so, after the initial "getting back to life." I continued to feel better, heal if you will for at least a year, maybe even a little longer as nerves healed and maybe your body compensates for the changes.

Best of luck to you in your treatment and recovery. One of the things I discovered when I "told my story" was that there are a LOT of people who have gone through this, you're not alone and there's a world of knowledge out there for you to tap into. Game Face On!

Unfortunate that you have prostate cancer but good for you for taking a path forward. To the post above, 8 days is not a lot of time, so please make sure you have given yourself ample time to understand your health situation, talk with family/friends/trusted-people and play out the various scenarios. Time is in your side, prostate cancer is generally slow growing, so if you need some extra time, don't feel as if you have to operate right this moment.

https://connect.mayoclinic.org/comment/1000964/
Ditto to @web265 comment
Also want to wish you the best in your upcoming surgery and recovery. My only advice is do those kegels as recommended by your care team prior to and after your surgery.
I also recommend that you get a few pairs of sweat pants to wear for a couple weeks following surgery. It made me a lot more comfortable and easier to deal with the catheter and bag. The catheter was uncomfortable as you would expect for a few days but wasn’t as bad I expected.
One thing I would add to catheter care; I would use a piece of athletic tape or gauze tape to wrap around the junction of the catheter and the tube going to the bag, I had an unfortunate incident with the tube coming loose st night while I was sleeping and the tape took care of that problem.
You will get ALOT of great advice here.

I have some advice...ask us all again once the catheter is about to come out what to expect, because too much information can be overwhelming right now. I wish someone had told me more about the first week post-op. The catheter was a nuisance but not a pain. I had googled enough ahead of time and found other men had posted YouTube videos on how to live with it for the short term. Be sure to check your modesty at the door and ask your nurse all about your catheter before you get discharged. Cleaning around the meatus and emptying the bag are keys but how to stay comfortable is important too and the tube coming out of your penis is pretty rigid. It was actually a relief not to have to get up to go to urinate while I recuperated. Defecating with it in is an odd situation. Prepare your spouse that she will be getting views of you that aren't so erotic anymore. My penis and scrotum swelled up a lot and turned amazing shades of black and blue. I had read about that but was unprepared for the reality. My left leg swelled up and I couldn't elevate it because that's where the catheter connection was taped. Only later did I get told the connector could be switched to the other leg, which would have made life easier. When the big day came and the catheter came out there was no pain, but there was a sudden spurt of urine. Be prepared with pads and something like depends already on your legs ready to pull up. So I am advising you to just get through the first week, and ask us again about week 2, then week 3. We can help.

Thanks so very much for sharing your story, relaying your experiences and providing some advice - with a little dose of humour! It’s a lot to take absorb in a short period of time, and folks like yourself taking the time to help someone they have never met gives me hope for sure. Working on that game face!

Thanks very much for taking the time to post the above, very much appreciated.