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Scary,strange,possibly"near death"symptoms:begging for some insight
I woke to my husband making a rattling sound-struggling for air. His lips turning purple,stiff body-clenching his fists up by his head. Completely unconscious. I did CPR and he came to after 3-5minutes- having no recollection. He has asthma so I googled- it just seems his symptoms were much more severe- almost like he could have died if I hadn't heard him when I did. What does it sound like he may have or had? What was that?!?
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@allisonsnow We all feel for you, Allison. I think I mentioned that my church has a support group for people dealing with chronic illnesses. One topic of conversation that comes up on a regular basis is the "you look so good" comments that we get from people. We all feel that struggle of others not believing that our medical condition is what we know it to be. This is a difficult place to be. Another thing we discuss in our group is setting boundaries for ourselves and not doing everything that everyone wants us to do. It's more important to set strong boundaries than to be told you are "being so strong." The boundaries keep us from becoming overly tired and prone to stress reactions. So, take a deep breath, write down some boundary sentences that you can use the next time that you are asked to do something that you know would not be good for you and then determine to not feel guilty. Sound like a plan? Hope so. We are pulling for you! Teresa
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1 Reaction@merilee, I am happy that you are here with us. I agree that we can find more support from others who share similar experiences.
I am thankful for Mayo Connect and the opportunity it provides for us to be together.
I hope that you get positive news next week.
Rosemary
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2 ReactionsI appreciate the thoughts of so many! and you have hit it right on the head as far as husbands go !! LOL I love your sense of humor:)
and I should be a millionaire if I had taken every cure for cancer I have been told about to the bank. That and the one how the govt. has already cured cancer (assuming it is just ONE disease )they just want us to keep paying for treatment.
People mean well I know and I appreciate all the help they do offer ( or did the first time around).
I agree 100% that nature does help calm the soul I try to be outside as much as I can but do have some limits, just one more frustration, but I still enjoy looking at the sun rise over the lake or set looking west across the fields. I take what I can get.
Seriously , when I sat down and saw all the responses I cried. I am so touched and hearing about others struggles they brought up and just thinking ...yeah... they get it.
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3 ReactionsI totally relate ! No one asks about my scans anymore either ,this will be my third occurrence and everyone says how good or healthy I look. Next week we will see if it is as aggressive as last time and I need to quickly make some decisions or it is just hanging back. so far my symptoms are not much worse so no sense starting chemo (if I even do chemo) before I have to. I only told a few close friends about the recurrence and not one of them has called to see how I am or asked about when the scans are it seems cancer and I are old news.
Even though according to Dr.'s I should have died the first...and second...time. We haven't said anything to my son yet no need to worry more than necessary. I do think that as long as we look good those around us put their heads in the sand.
Thank You to everyone for there support !!!!
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1 Reaction@rosemarya my husband tries to make sure I eat some, I feel as though I don't sleep at all. They Rx'd me with sleep apnea on top of everything else but don't I have to fall asleep to have that? hahahah I am only sleeping 2-4 hours a night until my body and mind can't stand it and I sleep a whole night thru.
It is a 2 1/2/ hour drive one way which my husband insists on doing in a single day ! Makes for a long day.
I would like a big hug and have someone say they will take care of it...no matter what "it" was. That would make for a good day.
Thanks for your note I hope you had a nice dinner out.
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2 ReactionsThank you. Stay strong everyone !!!! We got this!!!!!
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1 Reaction@alpaca You had a wonderful suggestion...WRITE IT DOWN.....I used to keep a pain journal and need to start that up again....but what helped the most was a journal about how I felt....about everything and everyone. That helped tremendously! I don't know why I stopped just like the pain journal I need to start again. I have taken one precaution and told my most trusted friend where it is and they should destroy it in case of my sudden death. The problem with being painfully honest is feelings get hurt and I would not want to pile anger or regret on top of the sorrow they are feeling. I will destroy it myself if I get the chance and have already destroyed parts of it..
The point is to get some relief from the feelings that have piled up in my heart and soul not to lash out at the people around me. once that is accomplished there is no need to have a written account hanging around. The only good that could come of it is to compare to life now. Have you made changes is your life better or worse? I found an old journal (3-4 yrs) and word for word it could have been written that day. I HAD DONE NOTHING to change my situation !!!! That spurred me on to make changes that's for sure.
Having cancer has changed me. My goals changed. How my children treated me changed but most important I changed, for the better. I am more accepting, more patient, kinder and except when I implode I am calmer. I truly believe I am a better person.
I have always been a Christian but my relationship with God became much more personal. Everyday has some sort of discussion with God and to be honest they are not all filled with praise. Funny how some things just fall in to place. After my rant on this site the other day Guess what my Bible study subject was on Tues.? "DOES GOD KNOW MY PAIN ?" It was like it was chosen just for me, like I said funny how things will happen that way. Just like finding the flood of responses on this site after I had shared my very dark day. I couldn't type an immediate reply because I was crying from gratitude and my brain couldn't function.
I had almost given up on this site I felt like I didn't fit in.... I was wrong..... I just hope I can bring support to someone that needs it, like so many of you did for me.
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2 Reactions@alpaca Your phrase, "I've painted myself into a stoic corner where I seem so tough, no-one even asks me when my check-ups are any more," represents a lot of us, but you said it so well! I love word-pictures and that is a good one. Thanks for sharing it with us. Teresa
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1 ReactionHi Allison, I think people just don't know what to say so they repeat what they think you want to hear. Maybe try and learn something. Learning something new always lifts my spirit. Frank
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2 ReactionsHi, I just turned 54 in January. In July of 2013, I had a bilateral mastectomy. I felt a lump on my nipple and went in for that. The doctors also found another small cancer in the same breast. I decided to have both breasts removed and the gel packs placed so I at least had bumps. The lymph nodes showed no cancer, so I did not have chemo or radiation. I thought I was the luckiest woman and that I would never have to worry about cancer again. None of the doctors told me that it could metastasize into my back and to watch for back pain. I had a checkup after a year and the doctor just looked at my breasts and said I was good to go. She told me I should have a MRI in five years. Little did I know that the cancer was going rampant in my back. In February of this year, I went to the doctor with severe back pain. After 4 MRIs, a PET scan, sacral bone biopsy, etc....my back is full of cancer. I think every woman should have a MRI one year after any type of breast cancer. I definitely would have had that done if I had any idea that this could happen. Maybe I am blaming the healthcare profession, and I should have been the one to dig deeper into the whole metastases thing, but since they said I was cancer free and didn't need chemo or radiation, I just went on with life, very unhappily though. I decided to divorce my ***** husband after 31 years of a worthless marriage and that whole thing has been SOOOO stressful. I almost feel like the stress may have caused my cancer recurrence. What do you think?
Deb