Forming New Habits: Helpful Strategies for When You Get Stuck

In the HABIT program, we're are all about forming new habits to help our patients --hence the name!  Our habits are about ways to compensate for memory changes in Mild Cognitive Impairment and ways to keep your brain as healthy as possible. In today's blog post we hope to offer some strategies to help you in those moments when you get stuck in your process where you no longer feel like you are making progress toward your goals.  We hope this will be helpful both for those of you who are living with MCI and members of other groups on Connect (e.g., goal setting groups).  These tips come from a friend and colleague of mine, Dr. Leslie Baxter, a neuropsychologist with here at Mayo Clinic Arizona. Thank you Dr. Baxter for sharing these tips!

Everyone gets “stuck” from time to time. Sometimes you get stuck just trying to get started on a task. Other times you might become stuck during a task. Or, maybe you completed a task once or twice, but have a hard time making the task a part of your routine. There are several different reasons why people get stuck. Here a few reasons people get stuck and strategies that might help you get going again!

1. I’m not sure HOW to do something

We might not even be aware of it, but often we are afraid of starting something because we can’t see what the steps are, or how we will be able to do something. This can feel overwhelming and may discourage you from even attempting a task. Fear of something new, or the unknown, may take a little help to figure out.

• Am I supposed to do something I don’t know how to do?
• Do I need help doing something but don’t know who might help?
  • Reach out to your partner or other family member to ask them if they can teach you.
  • Look up the steps for completing the task online.
  • Seek professional support for tasks that require specialized training (e.g., car mechanic; plumber).

• Am I trying to do too much at once?
• Am I worried this will make me too tired?
  • Break the task up into smaller parts and put those small parts on my to do list one day at a time.
  • Identify a time in the next 48 hours when you will have enough energy to complete the task. Once you identify a time, add it to your calendar and reward yourself when you’re done.

1. I tried but it didn’t go well

What can you do if you try something and it does not go well? While your initial reaction toward the activity might be negative, it is possible that the trouble is specific to a part of the task, rather than the whole task itself.

• Can I change just one step so the task is easier?
• Do I need help with a step?
• Think about engaging your partner in the conversation to see if they can identify a part of the task that could be changed or help you with a step if needed.

1. I just don’t like to do it

Unfortunately, there are other tasks that seem not to work out well because we just do not like to do them. We all have activities that we would rather not do, but we usually need to do them anyway. If a task does not go well because you do not like to do it, there are a few strategies that might help.

• Review the reasons why you need to do the activity. Is it necessary to live at your desired level of independence? Are you in conflict with someone else, like your partner, because you have not been doing it? Reminding yourself of the goal and purpose of a task that you do not like to do will help you cope with doing it.
• Can you reward yourself for doing the activity? Sometimes an incentive can help to get a task done. Having something to look forward to when the job is complete is often the motivator we need to get through it. Anticipating something good at the end diverts our “emotional self” from thinking about how we might not like doing something.

1. I don’t have time to do this

Fitting new things in to your routine can be difficult. Part of this comes from imagining how long it will take to do the new activity. Sometimes, finding the right time to do something requires “trial-and-error”. You need to try something to see how long it takes to do it.

• A planner is one of the best ways to organize your time. In HABIT, we recommend a day-at-a-time planner with sections for appointments/scheduled tasks, a to do list for that day, and a place for notes.
• Some activities can be broken down into smaller steps, which can help with managing your time.
• Time yourself. Set up a timer for each step. We often cannot judge how long something takes to do until we try it.
• Time other activities Sometimes comparison works well to put a task in perspective. This is really helpful when comparing how much time you spend doing things that you enjoy versus tasks that you may not enjoy. For most people, time seems to pass more quickly for fun activities than for necessary tasks like household chores.

1. I always intend to complete these tasks, but other things get in the way

Have you heard the expression “best-laid plans”? It is a well-known expression that refers to something that did not turn out like you wanted. The fact that there is an expression to represent this concept means that it is VERY common to experience obstacles to your plans and goals. That is why it is important to have back-up plans. Think about one of the tasks that you have chosen to work on. If for some reason you are unable to complete the task when you scheduled it, should you just forget about the task? Probably not. You’ve selected this task because it is important for you to achieve your desired level of independence and improve your quality of life.

• Find another time to complete the task on the same day. Put it in your planner at that time to make a commitment.
• Find another time to complete the task the next day or on a day in the near future that is less busy. Put it in your planner to be sure to hold that time for the task.
• Is the task urgent? Sometimes, you may want to ask for help from your support partner to make sure you can complete time-sensitive tasks like paying your bills or getting to your doctor’s appointment on time

In summary, introducing new activities and tasks to your life can be overwhelming because you may not know how you will feel during and after the activity. You may also be worried about doing it wrong, so the first time you try a new activity or task is often the hardest. With repetition, the task becomes easier because you know what to expect. Think of blowing up a balloon- it is hard to blow up the first time, but it is easier the next!