Courage is an unusual thing. We may find ourselves being able to call it forward more easily to help support those we love than if we were in a similar situation ourselves. During the time of a cancer diagnosis and treatment there may be numerous situations that cause uncertainty and potential pain. As a nurse, I have humbly watched both patients and their loved ones be strong for each other during those times when they needed it most. Changing dressings, suctioning secretions, helping with tube feedings may be a typical situation for healthcare providers, but terrifying for a family member. Yet, these same family members cautiously learn the skills necessary to help their loved one during their cancer experience.
In the same way, I have seen patients be incredibly courageous in what they endure, sometimes more for the sake of their loved ones than for themselves. My father-in-law struggled with a very aggressive form of leukemia. When our family reflects back on the time prior to his death, we now believe some of his choices were made to make an incredibly challenging experience easier on those he loved.
However, courage and strength are not qualities that measure the affection or love we have for those around us. We all have times when we need to either be the source of strength or find a source of strength. I’d love to hear where you personally tap in to strength during those situations: other family members, healthcare professionals, support groups, faith communities, nature and others are all possibilities. Please share with us in the comments.
Excellent post. Am going to give this some thought and see if more comes to mind than what I write here. I have no real family left--there are some people who are close to me, but other than four dogs that is about it. Know my close friends are caring--especially one is like a dear sister. Wanting to be healthy for my close friends and fight this cancer is something that helps with courage. Also, I want to live my life to its fullest for as long as possible and that gives me courage and a will to fight. I also love my dogs--really they are family members--and want to keep dogs with me as long as I am physically and mentally able. I rescue them. I had a special needs adult child who died unexpectedly five years ago and I know for certain being here for her and her needs would have given me tremendous courage and determination to fight to the end for her. She was in a group home by her choice, but needed a lot of follow up because group homes as good as they are are not home and the members don't get the close care they could. She and I were always extremely close and while she was alive, I fought for her--health care, etc.I miss her tremendously. Anyway, I would and will think more about the courage issue. I can see how families and those who suffer from cancer, or other devastating illnesses would rally for their family members. This is a marvelous issue to ponder and I know many will have great ideas about where our well of courage comes from and how we utilize it both front he perspective of patient and family member.